


The Gautier Method

by JustGotThemSharpened



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Felix Hugo Fraldarius Being an Asshole, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, M/M, POV Alternating, Strangers to Lovers, Sylvain Jose Gautier Being An Idiot, Sylvain Jose Gautier Is a Little Shit, Sylvix Big Bang 2020, The Glassblower!Felix AU No One Asked For, using brunch with friends as a character development device
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:21:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25870483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustGotThemSharpened/pseuds/JustGotThemSharpened
Summary: He pushed the glass door open, the bell on top of it jingled, signaling his presence. He marveled at the inside of the shop, filled with precious pieces of art of every color bent and shaped to look like animals, flowers or even just abstract forms.“Hello, how can I help you?” asked a voice.Sylvain turned at the sound of it, his eyes landing on what was probably the most beautiful thing in the shop. Eyes like liquid gold were staring at him from across the room, just slightly narrowed.He plastered the most charming smile he could, ready to flirt with the handsome man.“Hi,” Sylvain said, walking closer to the man and extending his hand, “I’m Sylvain."My work for the Sylvix Big Bang 2020! Hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Comments: 36
Kudos: 138
Collections: Sylvix Big Bang





	1. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He pushed the glass door open, the bell on top of it jingled, signaling his presence. He marveled at the inside of the shop, filled with precious pieces of art of every color bent and shaped to look like animals, flowers or even just abstract forms.
> 
> “Hello, how can I help you?” asked a voice.
> 
> Sylvain turned at the sound of it, his eyes landing on what was probably the most beautiful thing in the shop. Eyes like liquid gold were staring at him from across the room, just slightly narrowed.
> 
> He plastered the most charming smile he could, ready to flirt with the handsome man.
> 
> “Hi,” Sylvain said, walking closer to the man and extending his hand, “I’m Sylvain.”

Sylvain liked to think he was a good son, doing anything and everything in his power to make sure he remained in his parents’ good graces even going as far as letting them believe he wasn’t a flaming bisexual.

He was.

They knew, they just pretended he _wasn’t_.

But, as long as he left his male lovers in his apartment and showed up to his mother’s fancy events with a pretty woman on his arm, everything was forgiven, even his queerness.

His parents were the cause of his present predicament, well, one of them.

Mrs. Gautier’s 47th birthday was coming up, and with that the need for an expensive yet useless object as a gift arose.

A notification from his phone distracted him from his train of thoughts and he swiped at the screen of his costly device to see who had texted him. 

**Quicksilver - Just Now**

You there yet? 

His old classmate Ashe had presented himself with the solution to all his problems a few days ago, mentioning he worked as a front desk operator for a glass blowers’ forge where one of his dearest friends worked.

Expensive and Useless, check and check.

Sylvain sent a message to him, letting him know he was close. Ashe had offered to come pick him up and show him the way, but unfortunately his boyfriend Dedue, who was currently battling a vicious cold, had gotten him sick as well.

As a result, Sylvain was on his own.

He pushed the glass door open, the bell on top of it jingled, signaling his presence. He marveled at the inside of the shop, filled with precious pieces of art of every color bent and shaped to look like animals, flowers or even just abstract forms.

“Hello, how can I help you?” asked a voice.

Sylvain turned at the sound of it, his eyes landing on what was probably the most beautiful thing in the shop. Eyes like liquid gold were staring at him from across the room, just slightly narrowed.

He plastered the most charming smile he could, ready to flirt with the handsome man.

“Hi,” Sylvain said, walking closer to the man and extending his hand, “I’m Sylvain.”

“Ah, Ashe’s friend.” The stranger said, “I’m Felix, the owner.”

Felix’s hand was warm and calloused and Sylvain held on to it for a little more than socially acceptable, but the other didn’t protest.

“Ashe mentioned you would stop by for a commission, yes?” Felix walked to the counter, Sylvain hot on his heels.

Felix’s tone was clipped short, not exactly hostile but not quite friendly either. A no nonsense man after Sylvain’s own heart.

“Yes, my mother’s birthday is soon, you see. I wanted to give her something special.” He winked at the man and could have sworn he made Felix blush, but it was gone as soon as it appeared.  
  
“Right.” The midnight haired man replied, pulling a notepad from a drawer in the counter flipping through it until he got to a blank page.

Sylvain leaned over the surface, close to the man, perhaps closer than necessary.

“Tell me, what were you thinking?” The artisan asked.

Sylvain grinned wickedly at him, the kind of smile that usually had men and women throwing themselves into his arms, and launched himself into a discussion of his mother’s tastes.

Felix took notes, mostly, resting the pencil against his lower lip and nodding to let Sylvain know he was listening. If he noticed Sylvain’s flirty grin, he was thoroughly unaffected. At some point one long strand of inky black hair slipped from where it was tucked behind his ear and Sylvain almost had to physically restrain himself from reaching out and fixing it. He was already stretched as far as his torso could go on the counter, close enough to Felix’s personal bubble but leaving enough space so that the other man wouldn’t feel trapped.

Once he was done talking, Felix started sketching ideas based on what he’d said. His pencil danced on the notepad page with precise and graceful movements, the stubborn lock of hair was covering his eye and caressing the page. His face was set in a focused frown and Sylvain thought it was lovely. Well, Felix _himself_ was lovely.

“How about this?” The artisan asked, turning the page so Sylvain could take a look at his drawing.

“Hmm,” The redhead grabbed the notepad to see better, his fingers brushing against Felix’s for just a moment.

The concept was simple, not too elaborate but enough to satisfy his mother’s tastes. He could have asked for more, obviously, but a small, devilish part of him didn’t really feel like spending more money on a gift for _his mother_ of all people. Not after….everything.

“This is perfect, I love it.” Sylvain said and it was worth it for the small quirk of lips Felix gave him. It wasn’t a big smile, but it reached his eyes. It was genuine.

* * *

**To: Quicksilver**

Everything’s fine! He said he would tell me when it’s ready.

**Quicksilver**

I’m glad to hear that!

**To: Quicksilver**

U didnt tell me ur boss was hot btw

**Quicksilver**

Sylvain….please don’t.

**To: Quicksilver**

dw i got his number.

**Quicksilver**

That does not make me feel better.

* * *

“Are you alright?” Dimitri asked, looking up from his phone. He’d been kind enough to start looking at it only in the past few minutes of their weekly coffee date.

“Just - just thinking.” Sylvain said, he then smirked, “About how it feels like to be a trust fund baby.”

Dimitri lowered his phone and raised an eyebrow at him, with his well pressed suit and slicked back hair he looked exactly like his daddy’s favorite son. 

“That’s not what you were thinking about so I shall let it slide.” The blond man pocketed his phone into his dress pants. He didn’t mention that Sylvain was a trust fund baby as well. Just a little bit less rich.

“Fine, you got me. I was thinking about dick.” Sylvain’s disposition for being vulgar wasn’t a surprise for Dimitri anymore, since they had grown up together.

“Please, don’t use such foul language.” He spluttered, occupying himself with his cappuccino.

“Well, you know I’m all about sex,” Sylvain said, without missing a beat.  
  
“Unfortunately, yes. I spent my first year of college sleeping on Ingrid’s couch because of you.” 

Ouch. That _hurt_ . Sylvain couldn’t exactly blame him either, Ingrid had stormed their apartment the next semester and made sure to be present every time Sylvain would bring a girl home, effectively cockblocking him. She even ended up _dating_ some of those girls, too.  
  
“I met Ashe’s friend the other day.” Dimitri raised an eye at that, a little _oh?_ Escaping from his lips.

“And, do I want to fuck him? Yes. Absolutely I also want to take some more steps before that.” He explained, peering into his latte macchiato, as if looking for answers in the warm drink.

“Like what? Buy them a drink? Take off their clothes?” Dimitri suggested and...fair, he knew him pretty well, that’s what Sylvain would have usually done.

But for some reason... not this time. This time felt different. It wasn’t just some baseless chasing of his own libido. Also some part of him was pretty sure Felix would have kicked him in the balls for suggesting a one night stand.

“Maybe a date first.” The redhead said, winking. He winced immediately at how unlike him it sounded.

“Goddess.” Dimitri replied, Sylvain could tell how surprised he was to hear him say something like that by the way his hand had tightened on his cup, afraid he’d drop it out of shock.  
  
“I know.” He said, meekly.  
  


“Oh, Goddess.” Dimitri repeated. 

  
  


* * *

He didn’t know what compelled him to pop by the shop the following Wednesday, but he did. Actually, he was lying. He knew what drew him there and it was another chance to catch a glimpse of Felix.

However, when he opened the door, Ashe was back behind the counter. He raised his head and sent him a skeptical look.  
  
“Sylvain. What are you doing here?” the silver haired man asked.

“Why else? I wanted to see how you were doing!” Sylvain charmingly replied, sliding close to the counter and looking around.

“Somehow I don’t believe you.” Ashe said, rolling his eyes. “Felix’s in the forge working,” he then added, knowing fully well the reason why his friend was visiting.

Sylvain threw him a guilty look, then smirked. He couldn’t tell if he was really that predictable or his friends really knew him that well, possibly both. Definitely both.

“I just wanted to invite him out for lunch?” The red head explained.

“You’d be lucky to even get him out of there,” Ashe scoffed. “Anyway, I was about to take my lunch as well. Tell him I’m closing up front?”

Sylvain nodded and Ashe directed him to a door that led to the back of the shop and into the forge. He immediately noticed the change of temperature and sighed at the hot gush of air that enveloped his face.

Surely enough Felix was there, blowing in the blowpipe and inflating the glass, creating a bubble. The artisan grabbed a pair of tweezers, shaping the neck of the vase he was working on. Next was the paddle, which he used to create the support of the vase.

Sylvain watched, enraptured by Felix’s ability, his eyes soon falling on his sweaty, tied back hair and strong arms that effortlessly grabbed tools and bent the glass to his will. That shirt was too tight. He wondered if Felix realized.

He waited until Felix had deposited his project into the annealing oven. He took off his protective glasses and revealed his flushed and sweaty face. It _should_ have been disgusting, but Sylvain only felt his own face heating up. Especially when those pretty liquid gold eyes settled on him.

“What are you doing here?” The artisan asked, shedding his protective gloves with a scowl.

“I was wondering if you wanted to grab some lunch? My treat.” Sylvain sent him a sweet smile that almost withered at the look he received in reply.

“What for? I don’t owe you anything.” _Wow._ Was that why Ashe was in charge of client interactions? He found it hard to reconcile the young man he had in front of him right now to the one he had talked to the previous week. Not that he had acted friendlier the last time they had talked either.

“Alright, alright. I can take a hint when it’s clear I’m bothering. Sorry for interrupting your work.” Sylvain said, raising his hands in useless demonstration that he meant no harm.

He turned on his heels and started his retreat when he heard the other man clearing his throat.

“Wait. I suppose I could go for lunch.” Felix said, the red head realized that that was as close as an apology he would get.

Sylvain grinned wolfishly, recognizing a victory when he scored one.

* * *

After Felix had changed out of his protective clothing and swapped them for some casual ones, they were out of the back door, the artisan taking care of locking it and slipping the key into his pocket.

They ended up in a ramen place not far from there, Sylvain had chatted the whole way, only receiving non committal grunts and, if he was lucky enough, a nod. Felix had led the way, the streets were busy, everyone on their lunch break and squeezing onto the roads meant that their arms brushed with every step they took. Sylvain didn’t mind at all and if Felix did, he didn’t utter a word. A part of him wanted to reach out and squeeze Felix’s stupidly toned arm with his hands. It was probably the horny part of him.  
  
The restaurant was a hole in the wall and Sylvain was glad for it because it meant it wasn’t that crowded. They settled in a quiet corner, menus in hand. So far nothing that Sylvain had said seemed to capture Felix’s attention enough to deem a reply, not even a glance in his direction. The red head was floored, used to people hanging off of his every word, no matter how idiotical it was. It was...refreshing. Sort of. 

“I don’t think you told me what you do for a living.” Felix asked, cutting in the middle of another of Sylvain's rants and raising an eyebrow. He sneered, slightly lascivious as his gaze ran up and down Sylvain’s body, as if he had already figured him out. He probably had, Sylvain wasn’t one to hide his status. The red head felt himself grow hot under his shirt at the intensity of the gaze, tugging uselessly at the collar.

He was saved from answering when a waitress swooped in to take their orders. She was cute, and if it had been anyone but Felix with him with his dark long hair, long lashes and pretty eyes he would have immediately flirted with her.

“Spicy pork ramen”, Felix ordered, then, as an afterthought, “please.”

Sylvain felt his eyebrows lift to his hairline at the order, jolting out of his reverie when the waitress’ soft voice asked for his own.  
  
“Pork ramen is fine, thank you.” He said, collecting their laminated menus and handing them back to the girl, whose eyes seemed undecided whether to stare at him or Felix before taking her leave.  
  


“You know,” Sylvain started, conversationally, “You’re really talented.” He said. He remembered the pictures Ashe used to send him, from time to time, of Felix’s latest piece. The way Felix artfully bent the glass to his will on a whim, creating beautiful sculptures was just….breathtaking. Now that he had seen it with his own two eyes, in the shop, it was even more astonishing.

“Flattery will get you nowhere, Sylvain.” Felix replied dryly, sending him an unimpressed glare.  
  
“It’s not- yes, okay. It’s flattery. But I _mean_ it.” Sylvain shot him a genuine smile, his cheeks were slightly pink but he’d deny it to hell and back.

Felix was stricken, as if he wasn’t expecting a compliment on his craft. As if he didn’t expect anyone to be impressed by his work, his art, his raw talent. Sylvain would have to rectify it, often and gladly.

The artisan seemed to be pulled away from his thoughts, lowering his gaze to the wooden tabletop, a shy smile on his lips as he murmured a quiet, _whatever._ Sylvain wasn’t fooled.

Sylvain beamed at him, delighted to see a blush coloring Felix’s cheeks as well. Well, what do you know? Apparently not even Felix was immune to him.

Their food arrived a few moments later, and much to Sylvain’s glee, the awkwardness had slightly dissipated. He managed to get Felix to talk, to show him that small smile that seemed almost like a blessing, for how little it appeared. Sylvain managed to coax out of him the story of how he and Ashe met (they were roommates in college), how he got his cat, Oreo (“found him on the street, half starved, a kid who had been trying to take care of it had given him his ridiculous name”), how long he had been working in his forge (just a couple of years, after reconnecting with Ashe).

They both artfully skirted away from topics about their families and Sylvain didn’t press. Didn’t _want_ to press. Felix didn’t ask and neither did he. Sylvain suspected that Felix wasn’t a fan of his blood relations as much as he was.

Felix was pleasant to be around, once he got comfortable enough. He had a sharp tongue and an even sharper wit to match. The kind of no-nonsense person his parents would have abhorred. He was _perfect_ in Sylvain’s eyes.

They stayed longer than the lunch break Felix was allotted. When he realized, he cursed quietly and started gathering his stuff, patting his pockets down in search of his wallet before Sylvain’s hand stopped him.

“My treat, remember?” He asked with a toothy grin. Felix huffed, annoyed, but relented.

After Sylvain paid, they walked back mostly in comfortable silence, the streets were now emptier which meant that they were no longer squeezed together, but Felix still let his arm brush against Sylvain’s from time to time as the other pointed out some of the sights. Sometimes it was a cute dog being walked by their owner or simply something funny the other had spotted. The artisan merely rolled his eyes in response, however he noticed it was halfhearted, as if he didn’t really mean it. Sylvain silently cheered in his mind.

When they reached the back door of the shop, Felix lingered after unlocking it, unsure of what to say. Thankfully, Sylvain, the best versed of the two of them in words swooped in and saved the day, feeling the hesitance in the other’s body language and saving them from a potentially awkward ending to their day.  
  
“It was nice, yeah? We should do this again, some time.” He said, before adding, “If you want, that is.” which was uncharacteristically shy of him.  
  
“Yeah, I’d like that.” Felix acquiesced with a nod, gifting Sylvain with one of his rare smiles. Sylvain wasn’t lying when he said it felt like a blessing every time.

“Next Wednesday, then.” Sylvain’s answering smile was blinding. “Tell Ashe I said hi?” he asked, knowing the silver haired man would be offended if he didn’t hear from him.

“Next Wednesday. My treat, this time.” Felix replied, avoiding his gaze. Sylvain could swear he was blushing. 

The artisan agreed to greet Ashe on his behalf and didn’t waste any more time, opening the door and slipping inside with a small wave as Sylvain called his own goodbye.

Sylvain let out a big whoop to the empty alley once the door was closed and he heard Felix’s retreating footsteps, scaring a stray cat that had been sleeping nearby.

* * *

The next Saturday found him seated with Ingrid and Dimitri at their usual cafè, everyone nursing a different drink as Ingrid inhaled as many pastries as she could. She didn’t usually join them, too busy being trained to take over her father’s company, now on the brink of collapse. It wasn’t much of a secret that both the Blaiddyd and Gautier companies left hefty donations in the company’s funds.  
  
“Well, you’ve been unusually quiet.” Ingrid commented, sending him a pointed stare, after finishing her fourth? Tenth? Pastry. Sylvain had honestly lost count. Watching Ingrid eat was both fascinating and disgusting at the same time.

“I have no idea what you might be getting at, Ingrid.” Sylvain peacefully replied, leaning back in his seat and sending her an innocent smile. Dimitri immediately pretended to find the content of his cup very interesting when Ingrid’s stare was directed to him. Everyone knew Dimitri couldn’t keep a secret, his nature was too earnest. It had landed Sylvain in trouble more times than he could count, to be honest.

“So that’s how it’s going to be….” Ingrid started, before being interrupted by the waitress setting a plate with a slice of cake on it on their table. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough to stop her incoming tirade. “I just find it weird you’re not bragging about your latest conquest, is all.” There it was. Willingly or not, Sylvain had been trapped. Hook, line and sinker. 

“Aw, come on. Are you really that interested in my fuck buddies?” Sylvain asked, a flimsy smile on his face. Dimitri winced, looking everywhere but at Ingrid. Ingrid raised an eyebrow and that was when he realized he had just dug himself a bigger hole.  
  
“Sylvain is...seeing someone. He’s committed.” Dimitri blurted out, before the red head could scramble to salvage the situation. _Thanks, buddy_.

To no one’s surprise, Ingrid raised both her eyebrows to her hairline, cake and pastries forgotten completely.  
  
“I’m not….committed.” Sylvain said weakly, he didn’t really blame Dimitri for his betrayal. The man cracked like an eggshell when he felt a minimal amount of pressure.

  
“I can’t say I’m not shocked, really.” Ingrid remarked, taking a sip of her drink while staring at him. That was her universal gesture for ‘please, elaborate.’.

“Well, in my defense...I wasn’t expecting Ashe’s boss to be hot, alright?” Sylvain said, raising his hands in front of his face. It was a flimsy excuse and it was proved by Ingrid’s eyeroll.

“Are you trying to get Ashe fired?” She asked, her gaze shifting to disapproving. “Seriously, can you use your head for once?” She crossed her arms over her chest, just seething with rage.

So, yeah. She was right. Not that it was news. Sylvain should’ve thought about that, really. But Felix didn’t seem the kind of guy who would fire Ashe over a blotched few dates. Plus, he was sure Felix was into him! Right?

“He’s not going to get fired, Ingrid I swear!” Sylvain complained, sounding more like a child than his 25 year-old self. “We’re going on another date Wednesday! Could you at least hold off the firing squad until then? Please?” Petulant. That’s how he sounded.

“Wait...a _second_ date?” Ingrid’s surprised tone released the tension from his shoulders. At least she wasn’t mad anymore. Maybe. Probably. He had a gift of setting her off with only a handful of words, like gasoline with fire. The Goddess hated him. 

“You’re going on a _second_ date with him? What happened to the ‘No strings attached’ Gautier method? I thought you weren’t for second dates. What am I saying? You barely went on one if you already got them in your bed. That must have been one hell of a first date.” She was so surprised that she even started eating her pastries again.

Bless Ingrid and her way of beating sense into him, whether it was verbally or physically. Had he really never taken a person on a second date before? Huh. He thought back on his countless flings and one night stands, the ‘It’s not you, it’s me’, the ‘this isn’t really working.’, only to realize that...yeah. He had never brought those people to dates more than once. Saw them frequently, went to bed with them even more often. He never really put in the effort to actually get to know them, only their bodies for meaningless sex.

Felix fascinated him in more ways than he was willing to admit. His prickly nature was merely a facade to protect himself from...what? Sylvain didn’t know, but he was thrilled at the chance to discover. To get to know him, spend more time with him and... _oh_.

Maybe he was a little bit committed.

“Unless...he’s playing hard to get?” Ingrid teased him and even Dimitri let out a low chuckle. They all knew it wasn’t the case, if Felix had been playing hard to get, Sylvain would have simply left him to his own devices, moving onto the next pretty thing that caught his eyes. The so-called Gautier Method indeed.

“What can I say? I’m so charming, he just can’t get enough of me.” Sylvain replied, leering in his friends’ direction. If anyone could see through him, though, those were his best friends.

“Alright, Casanova. Dimitri, what have you been up to? I haven’t heard from you in a while.” Ingrid asked, turning to their blond friend.

And just like that, all the attention had shifted away from him. Thank _fuck_.

* * *

It went like this: Sylvain and Felix met each other for lunch every Wednesday, taking turns on who paid for the meal and going to a different place every time.

They had exchanged numbers, that fateful day when Sylvain had entered the shop to commission him, so when Sylvain wasn’t busy with modeling jobs or taking over for his dad’s company, or even if he was, they texted. Never called.

Felix didn’t reply until his lunch break or evening, too busy working on his many commissions, but Sylvain didn’t mind, he liked having something to look forward to when he got home or company during his meals.

**To: Felix**

Ok what would your weapon of choice in a medieval setting or whatever

**From: Felix**  
What the fuck? What’s this about?

**From: Felix**  
Sword, probably. You?  
**  
** **To: Felix**  
This meeting is dragging into my lunch break and im bored. Nice, btw. I guess I’d go for a lance?

**From: Felix**

Pathetic.  
  
**To: Felix**  
Rude!

Sylvain slid his phone back on his pocket, realizing he had been asked for his opinion and adjusted on his seat. These meetings were usually boring and that was why his father delegated him to sit through them. “They’re impossible to fuck up, just smile and nod at whatever they tell you”, he had said. Unfortunately for his father, everyone seemed to count on Sylvain’s opinion, and hey, he hadn’t wasted years on his business degree to not put it to use.

But, back to Felix; he was nice to talk to, they had fallen into an easy friendship and for once, despite finding himself wishing for a little push, Sylvain didn’t feel pressured to turn it into _more_.

If they walked too close when they went out, or occasionally brushed hands, they pretended it didn’t happen. Sometimes, Felix would freeze up when Sylvain threw an arm over his shoulder or said something that embarrassed him, as if suddenly realizing that his walls had completely tumbled down, and then he relaxed, trusting, leaning into the touch or replying with a snippy remark.

* * *

“Come on, just answer me. I swear I won’t make fun of you.” Sylvain cajoled, taking a bite of the food on his plate. Felix had chosen Mexican and was currently eating something so spicy Sylvain was wondering how his taste buds were faring.

“Fine,” The navy-haired man conceded, “Yes, I also have a license in smithing and yes, I have tried to make a sword.” He rolled his eyes, flicking his paper napkin in Sylvain’s direction when he saw the look on his face.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked, petulant and a bit embarrassed. Sylvain had that effect on him, he had discovered pretty soon.

“I’m trying to picture you with a sword.” The red head replied, that familiar glint of mischief in his eyes that always promised something insufferable was going to come out of his mouth. “Sir Felix of Fraldarius, huh?”

“That doesn’t sound bad at all. You’ll call me that from now on.” Felix replied, raising an eyebrow. There it was that smile, faint, resembled more a smirk but it was oh, so captivating.

Sylvain chuckled and nudged Felix’s knee with his own under the table.They went back to their food, comfortable silence blanketing them for a bit. After all, Sylvain couldn’t shut up for long.

“Can I see the sword you made?” He asked, genuinely curious. He wondered if Felix was as good at bending metal to his will as he was with glass. Sylvain was pretty sure he was a magician or something similar.

He expected Felix to scoff or roll his eyes in response, but instead, he just pulled out his phone and scrolled quickly through it, offering it to Sylvain.

The sword in the picture was clearly the work of a newbie, a bit rough around the edges, however he could definitely spot details that were all Felix’s. The simple grip that curved inward only to end at the shoulder, the guard was an intricate work of metal that braided around each other that protected the hand from being struck. A soft interior protected by sharp exterior. Similar to Felix's way of pushing everyone and everything away by putting on thick walls to defend his heart.

“For a second there I thought you were going to show me a dick pic and not an actual sword.” Sylvain said instead, a dumb grin on his lips.

“Trust _you_ to ruin everything.” Felix was scowling, he quickly locked his phone’s screen, effectively blocking Sylvain from taking another glimpse at the metalwork.

“Sorry, sorry. Low hanging fruit and all that. It’s - It’s really beautiful, though. I swear.” The red head was delighted to see a faint blush color Felix’s cheeks at the compliment.

Felix narrowed his eyes and avoided the other’s gaze.

“Thanks.” He said, so quiet Sylvain was afraid he had imagined it.

* * *

Ashe had stopped asking his true intentions by the third week, when instead of stopping at the back door with the Artisan to say goodbye to him, he entered to greet the silver haired man as well.

“I’ve never seen him smile around someone like that. Except me and Annette, of course.” Ashe said, once Felix had been back in the forge to work on his projects.

“What can I say? I must be doing _something_ right.” Sylvain had said, breezily, ignoring the blush that had spread on his cheeks.

“You too, you know.” Ashe said, a sly little smile on his lips. “You’re smiling. No, I’m not talking about your ‘smoulder’ or whatever you call it. Your _genuine_ smile.” Ashe tapped the corner of his mouth, where Sylvain’s dimple had made an appearance. 

Sylvain didn't know how to reply to that, rubbing the back of his neck like he usually did when he was embarrassed. He let out a small chuckle. Had he really been smiling as much as Ashe said?

There were only a handful of people who he trusted enough being around to lower his many masks. Or who knew when he was bullshitting his way through a conversation.

"It's a good thing. Don't run away from it, don't ruin it." Ashe's eyes had hardened as he warned him.

At this point, Sylvain didn't really know what they were talking about anymore. He suspected what Ashe was getting at, but he didn't really want to delve down that particular road right now.

He nodded and Ashe's hard expression softened, satisfied with the man's response.

Despite having known Sylvain longer than Felix, Ashe was clearly very protective of the younger man, sort of like a younger brother. Sylvain wondered how that came to be, if Ashe knew what was up with Felix’s family, the reason why he had deftly avoided talking about it on their first date and why he still kept it under wraps. Sylvain understood what it meant having a shitty family.

It was part of the reason he had been trying to detach himself from the Gautier seniors, getting an apartment as soon as 18, not seeing his parents unless it was absolutely necessary. He wouldn’t have even shown at the Gala for his mother’s birthday, if she hadn’t made such a big deal out of it. And if Ingrid hadn’t cajoled him into it by saying ‘It’s going to be the first event I’m going to be at after a while, you wouldn’t leave me alone among _that_ crowd, would you?’ And damn her, she knew he’d pretty much do anything for her or Dimitri. So, with a heavy heart, he had agreed.

It was no secret what the Gautiers had done to their children, one kicked out and promptly thrown into jail for possession with the highest sentence dished out by one of their judge friends, the other...well. Broken beyond comprehension, hidden behind a careful mask of cheerfulness and carelessness. 

Sylvain didn’t reserve love for his older brother, the scars on his body had long since healed, but the ones in his mind were still fresh and present, never to go away. He had no doubts over who hurt them both first, however, and those had been their parents.

Not an ounce of sweet talk and praises, gifts or expensive abroad trips would delete what they had done or allow Sylvain to forgive them.

He held his bleeding heart in hand and locked it away and shoved it deep down, so that no one could see the ugly scars it had.

* * *

  
  


**From: Felix**

It’s done. Ashe is waiting for you to come pick it up for the payment.

Felix’s texts were always concise and to the point, no emotion whatsoever showing through, no shy smiles or biting remarks to follow.

Sylvain realized, with his mother’s gift done, he no longer had an excuse to bother Felix at the shop, taking him out for food on dates. Or at least, that’s what he’d been calling them in his mind, he didn’t really know what Felix thought of them.

Despite having unwound a bit in Sylvain’s presence, Felix was as tightly wrapped and reserved as ever. Were they friends? Acquaintances? He wanted to know, to _ask_.

Knowing the artisan, he knew he’d only receive a snappish response, as disconnected with his feelings as he was with everything else. As if they _disgusted_ him.

Sylvain let out a sigh, the delivered message letting the other know the redhead had seen his text.

**To: Felix**

Alright Felix! Always so nice hearing from you ;) is this evening alright?

He locked his phone, looking at his reflection on the changing room’s mirror and scrubbing his hand on his face. It’d run his makeup but the make up artist would fuss about him later, he felt bone deep tired right now.

“Sylvain? The photographer is set up. We’re waiting for you for the photoshoot.” A ginger haired woman with short hair piped up, only her head showing from the door.  
  
“Thanks, Leonie. I’ll be right there.” He placed his phone on the small table littered with different makeup products and brushes and got up.

His traitorous thoughts once again reminded him of navy hair and lips crooking in a half smile, strong arms hidden behind turtlenecks, a rough and deep voice with a silvery sincere tongue.

_Think about it later. Pull yourself together, Gautier._

* * *

Ashe seemed in good spirits when Sylvain walked in, well, more than usual, Ashe was always cheerful for some reason or the other, bless his heart.

“Sylvain, hello!” He called, beckoning him to the counter. Sylvain pushed up his sunglasses in his hair and approached him, smiling.

“Something good happened?” He asked, his smile turning into a sly one as he eyed the ring on Ashe’s ring finger, a ring that definitely wasn’t there before. Sylvain would know, he was a professional at spotting wedding bands and engagement rings on his conquests’ hands.

“I’ll tell you later! Felix wanted to see your reaction first hand and, don’t tell him I told you this, but he’s really impatient.” Ashe ushered him to the back door, where the forge was with a shooing motion,Sylvain cackled and obliged.

Felix was waiting for him in a sleeveless turtleneck that showed his arm muscles pretty nicely, if Sylvain said so himself. He was leaning against a worktable, his arms crossed on his chest and his hair gathered in a high ponytail that ended just past his shoulder blades. His pointer finger was tapping impatiently against his upper arm, still unaware of Sylvain’s presence. He was a vision.

Sylvain cleared his throat to announce his presence and to avoid startling him, he had made that mistake once and ended up threatened with a pair of scalding tweezers pointed at his neck. His self preservation instinct shouldn’t have found it hot as it did, but Sylvain was fucked up like that. He didn’t question it anymore.

Felix had yelled his ears off after he had realized it was him and Sylvain was sure he had been a few minutes from grabbing the tweezers again and hitting him with them just to knock a little sense in him. He didn’t, thankfully. Sylvain had made it up to him by buying lunch even if it was Felix’s turn to pay.

“Hello you”, he greeted, stepping closer to the man, now that he had confirmed that no weapons were close enough for Felix to make use of them.

“Sylvain.” Felix said, a half smile on his lips, before he was off towards the annealing oven, it looked kind of like a fridge, with rows and rows full of projects. 

Sylvain looked as Felix slowly and carefully extracted his commission, walking over to the worktable to place it for the red head to inspect.

Sylvain’s eyes widened and he felt his jaw working but no words uttered from his lips, he stepped closer to the piece, running a finger reverently over the glassy surface, afraid it’d break only with the intensity of his gaze.  
  
“Well? Is it to your liking?” Felix prompted from somewhere next to his shoulder, impatiently tapping his finger against his arm.  
  
“Felix this is- I-” Sylvain started, once and once again, only to feel his words stolen whenever his eyes fell on the commission.

It was a swan, similar to what Felix had sketched so many days ago in the little shop upstairs, Sylvain doing his best to get noticed by the other man. It was poised with its wings raised, ready to take flight, the tips of the wings were tempered with swirls of blue and gold, while the beak and its little head was molten gold, Sylvain was almost afraid that if he touched it he’d burn his fingers, even if the notion was silly.

Its long neck was bent against his chest, as if it was bowing to the watcher.

“This is...you’ve outdone yourself.” Sylvain ended up saying, turning to look at the man with a beaming smile.

Felix had his half smile plastered to his face, his gold eyes shining with pride and oh, Sylvain could have _kissed_ him. He wanted to, really.

“Come to the gala.” He blurted, before he could register what he was saying.

“What?” Felix asked, his eyebrows scrunching up in confusion as he looked at him. A lock of hair had escaped from its spot behind his ear, falling in front of his eye.

Sylvain reached out and put it back in its place without thinking, startling both of them. He expected Felix to step away or slap his hand, but he didn’t. He just stood still, their eyes locked while a myriad of emotions ran between them, too fast to stop on a singular one.

_Oh._

It would have been, perhaps, something obvious in someone else’s eyes, someone who unlike Sylvain wasn’t a stranger to intimacy, who didn’t know what the flutter of his heart meant whenever Felix smiled, or looked at him, even when it was with that little scowl that sometimes caused Sylvain to laugh.

He’d had his fair share of partners, really, but this foreign emotion never presented itself, different from wanting someone in a purely physical manner, this was-

This was-

Softer, fragile. A baby bird spreading his wings for the first time before leaving its nest. This sensation as if he was floating in the air.

Sylvain was in love with him. 

“I’m serious. Come to the gala with me. As my date.” Sylvain repeated. He was cupping Felix’s cheek, his thumb brushing right under the artisan’s eye.

Sylvain felt the fragility of the moment, he could see Felix fighting himself on whether he wanted to put distance between them or lean into the touch to his cheek. Sylvain wanted nothing more than hearing him say yes, to have the man hanging on his arm as he showed him around.

Felix hummed in uncertainty, breaking the eye contact to look to the side. Sylvain wasn’t unfazed, he had learned the other didn’t like when people stared at him. At first, he had thought he was making him uncomfortable, but then he’d realized it was just yet another part of him. Another part that made Felix, well, _Felix_. He was perfect in Sylvain’s eyes.

“Alright. But only if you tell your rich friends who made your mother’s gift.” Felix said, nodding his head towards the swan. Unaware of the realization Sylvain had just come to terms with.

_Beautiful._

Sylvain chuckled, letting go of Felix’s cheek. “ _Deal_ .”  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was...a ride. I just want to thank all my friends for knocking sense into me whenever I felt this fic wasn't going to be good. Zack, Mory, Lian, Mimi, Grace...thanks y'all.
> 
> Thank you Eli and Zack for beta-ing!
> 
> The illustrations are the wonderful work of [@LostKimin](https://twitter.com/LostKimin)!
> 
> I'm on twitter [@hanzohoemada](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada)
> 
> [Fic's promo on twitter!](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada/status/1297564253302521857?s=20) [link to Kim's illustrations' promo!](https://twitter.com/LostKimin/status/1297565245955809280?s=20)


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Not that it’s any of my business, but your ‘friend’ hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since we got here.” The woman said, falling into step with Felix as he twirled her.
> 
> “You’re right, it _isn’t_ any of your business”, Felix replied, clicking his tongue in annoyance, he knew to nip Dorothea’s plans into the bud before they could escalate too much, she was overly fond of drama.
> 
> “I can see that your eyes aren’t straying too far away either.” Dorothea continued, completely ignoring Felix’s not so subtle cue to stop meddling.

Felix tugged at his tie uncomfortably, he hadn’t worn a suit in so long, not since he had let all of this world go, full of fake smiles and ostentatious riches. He had spent hours at Annette’s house, she had fussed over his hair for a while, trying to find a hairstyle that would fit him. Had it been for him, he wouldn’t even have combed through it. Fortunately, Annette reminded him of the potential customers he could have found at the event and effectively shut him up. That and her puppy eyes.

She had gathered his hair in a low bun, braiding a part of it to connect back to it. Annette had been very proud of it and even Felix had to begrudgingly admit it wasn’t _too_ bad.

There was a considerable line at the Gautier mansion, to be expected, he guessed. It still kept him on edge, unsure. He hadn’t heard from Sylvain apart from a sporadic text since he had come to the shop to get his gift, probably too busy with the gala preparations.

It was part of why he hadn’t come to pick Felix up, apparently his mother wanted him to be at her side to greet all the guests. Which left Felix alone on a curb full of rich people who kept sending glances in his direction and whispering behind their hands. He sent as many glares as he could, even if it was wasted effort. The more he glared, the more people whispered. He suspected some of them recognized him, even if he barely could remember the last time he had attended an event of this scale with his father. He was probably around seventeen at that time, give or take.

“Felix? Is that you?” A voice said behind him, he turned to see forest green eyes and long chocolate locks. Dorothea. “It is you!” She said, wrapping her hands around his bicep, a dazzling smile on her lips. She was dressed to the nines, her make up impeccable. She had always been stunning, even if Felix had to say he was far from attracted to her, he did have eyes.

“Thea. What are you doing here?” He asked, surprised at seeing one of his college friends after what was probably years. Everyone had parted to follow their own paths and Felix rarely heard from any of them, Ashe was the one who kept him updated through their social media. “I could ask you the same thing. You hate this kind of scene.” Dorothea said, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers and sending him a coy smile. “I’ll have you know I’m performing with my opera house.”

Ah. Right, he remembered how she was always busy working on an opera or the other back in college, trying to rope as many of their friends as she could to perform . She had once convinced Felix to play Laertes for her interpretation of Hamlet. His performance had been terrible, or so she had told him. He had only gotten along with it because she had promised to fill half of his shifts for a month at their part time job.

“I’m here for...a friend.” Felix said, hesitating on the word ‘friend’. He wasn’t sure what his relationship with Sylvain was, as of yet. They toed perfectly the line between ‘friends’ and ‘something more’.

Frankly, the redhead had crash landed in his life and had fairly quickly made a place for himself in Felix’s heart. There weren’t many who could do that. Sylvain made Felix feel vulnerable in a way he hadn’t felt for a long time. He still couldn’t forget the way he had so gently tucked his hair back, his warm hand cradling his cheek had made his heart hammer in his chest.

Sure, he found his aimless flirting annoying most of the time, mostly because he wasn’t used to that type of attention. He rarely had been, even in college. Annette liked to joke he was waiting for Prince Charming to sweep him off of his feet and had gone into hysterics when he had told her about Sylvain.

“A ‘friend’, hm? Hard to think of a friend who would manage to drag you to such pomp and circumstance.” Her gaze was calculating and Felix already knew she’d piece together the details in record time, the gossip.

“Yeah, well...I’m getting something out of it.” He replied, directing a scowl in her direction. She giggled.

“I’ll bet.” She replied, raising an eyebrow with an amused expression. Before he could retort she pulled him along with the hold she had on his arms, realizing the line had moved. He was pretty sure she could have gotten in backstage with her singer pass, she just wanted to catch up with him.

He was grateful, especially because Dorothea’s bubbly personality had always put him at ease. They hadn’t liked each other at the start but with their friends always organizing get togethers and parties they had been forced to mingle until they eventually became friends. She had been a competent and confident girl and now she was a competent and confident woman. “I heard from Ashe you have your own shop now. A shame, I would have recruited for my opera troupe.” Dorothea was pouting, her lower lip jutting out. She knew how to turn a situation to her advantage.

“I thought you said my interpretation of Laertes would raise Shakespear from his grave in horror.” Felix raised a questioning eyebrow, amused at her antics nonetheless.

“Well, it could use _some_ improvement.” The woman agreed, a charismatic smile curling her lips, as if she was expecting Felix to drop everything for her and her troupe. Fat chance.

The inside of the mansion was as crowded as it was extravagant. There were crystal chandeliers all around the tall ceiling, illuminating the ballroom as if it was daylight.

Dorothea tutted, probably in disapproval of all the excessive need to show off. They were both very familiar with rich type guys, Felix because of his first decade or so living in it, having to attend over the top parties with eccentric people.Thea for her own reasons that she had shared with him once during a party after they had split a full bottle of vodka.

Felix looked around, trying to spot a red head anywhere, but it was really too packed to recognize anyone familiar, everyone wearing expensive designer gowns and suits. Felix felt ten again, looking around behind his father’s leg at everyone with wide, startled eyes while Glenn sneered at everyone and everything, thirteen and already savvy regarding what kind of world they lived in.

He spotted him at last, talking with a blonde woman that was fussing on his bowtie while he laughed. He felt something ugly curling in his stomach at the scene. He quickly stomped it down, reminding himself he and Sylvain were nothing.

“That your friend?” Thea asked, the coyness in her tone unmistakable as she sent him a coquettish look.

Before he could answer, she was already dragging him in their direction by his arm and he felt as if a bucket of ice water had been dropped on his head. Sylvain looked...handsome. He had fixed his hair a bit, less flyaways but still sporting his usual haircut, perhaps a little more polished. The burgundy suit jacket hugged his arms pleasantly, in a show not show fashion. A tease of muscled arms waiting under it.

If Sylvain’s reaction was anything to go by, he also seemed pleasantly surprised to see him, his eyes raking up and down his body lasciviously. Usually, Felix would shrink away from such a stare, but the way Sylvain was looking at him made him puff out his chest slightly and raise his shoulder, a tiny smirk playing on his lips.

“Felix!”, he exclaimed, reaching them with long strides, it was as if he hadn’t even seen Dorothea at his arm, enraptured by Felix as if caught by his orbit. “You look….wow. You look really good. Really good.” He said, checking him out once again and licking his lower lip nervously.

Dorothea giggled next to him and oh, no. He knew what that giggle meant. It spelled trouble.

“Thank you. You also look….” Felix trailed off, unsure on how to end the sentence. Handsome? Stunning? “...good.” He finished.

Dorothea elbowed him in the ribs slightly and he knew he had put his foot on his mouth. Or so he thought, until he noticed the shy, tentative smile on Sylvain’s lips and the slight blush on his cheeks. His heart fluttered uncomfortably as the image seared itself in his mind.

He was absolutely _fucked_.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” Dorothea asked serenely, but he had known her for too long to know it was anything but.

Sylvain seemed to have just noticed Dorothea, immediately recollecting himself and snapping his eyes towards her, his little smile was gone, replaced by a charming one as he bent down to pick up her hand and making a show of placing a small kiss on the back of it. “I’m Sylvain Jose Gautier, pleased to meet you.” He said, turning up the charm to the max to make up for his slip up. Felix had seen him plenty of times flirting with girls, it must have been terrible for him not jumping to the occasion to flirt with Dorothea.

“Dorothea Arnault. I will be singing at your lovely soiree.” She replied, equally charming. If Felix hadn’t seen her eyes continuously slip to the blonde next to Sylvain he would have almost thought she was flirting back. She had always steered clear from rich assholes, though.

“Allow me to introduce my best and childhood best friend, Ingrid.” Sylvain said, pushing Ingrid gently by the small of her back. She looked at Felix with an undeciprable look before her eyes slid to Dorothea and promptly became the size of saucepans.

“Lovely to meet you, Ingrid.” Dorothea gave her a winning smile, gravitating from Felix’s arm to hers, tugging her along. “Let’s leave the boys to talk.” She threw a wink over her shoulder that only Felix caught with a deep scowl.

“Ah, but Felix! If you miss my performance I will be very disappointed. Also, you owe me a dance.” Dorothea called, dragging Ingrid away.

“So…”Sylvain started, once they were completely alone. He seemed awkward, probably surprised by the fact that Felix had actually _shown_. Felix was surprised as well.

“So,” Felix echoed, a smirk on his face, he couldn’t help but feel a little satisfied at having thrown Sylvain off his game. It was usually Felix that felt sorely out of place with him, flustered beyond measure.

Sylvain grabbed two flutes of champagne from a passing waiter, offering one to Felix who accepted it gratefully.

“Let’s mingle, shall we?” The redhead asked, and then, much to Felix’s surprise, wrapped his arm around Felix’s. They both flushed and Felix cleared his throat embarrassedly as Sylvain rubbed the nape of his neck.

This was off to a great start.

“I...uh. Asked Ashe for some of your cards. I set them next to my mother’s gift.” Ah. Yes. The reason why he was here. The possibility of new customers. Felix would be lying if he said that was the only reason why he had shown up at all.

“Thank you. That was...thoughtful of you.” Felix took a sip from his glass, trying to hide the prominent blush on his cheeks.

The fond look Sylvain sent him was lost in the action.

They talked quietly amongst themselves for a while, attracting many eyes and whispers hidden behind hands. Felix would have been set off by the sight, but Sylvain was currently occupying his whole attention, he completely fit in the setting, charming and smiling, a carefree laugh on his lips whenever Felix said something particularly witty, his perfect suit hugging his body like a second skin that made Felix’s eyes stray from his face more than once.

Sylvain leaned down, never letting go of his arm to whisper in his ear, “I think Dorothea’s almost up.” He felt his breath ghost over the shell of his ear, suppressing an unwanted shiver.

 _Fuck_ , but Sylvain _must_ know what he was doing to him. His face betrayed nothing, however.

Felix looked at the stage to distract himself from Sylvain’s vicinity and warmth and sure enough, Dorothea was walking on the stage, looking like the Star of Broadway she acted like. All curves and charming smiles with a wonderful voice to back them up.

Felix didn’t see Sylvain’s friend anywhere around, despite the fact she had left with Dorothea just a few minutes before. He decided not to question it and kept his gaze on his college friend.

She sang like a mermaid, enchanting the crowd that had gathered around effortlessly, her voice carrying through the whole room in a Soprano, she wasn’t the only one on there, the band right behind her, but she obscured them with her sole presence.

“Wow.” Sylvain whispered next to him and Felix nodded his assent, even though he had known Dorothea for years, she was always full of surprises.

Her song spoke of a budding love, the hope of two people coming together wishing for something more and both denying it to themselves for their own shortcomings. Dorothea’s eyes caught Felix and her voice raised higher and higher and she winked at him, making him scowl.

The performance ended with a booming applause and Dorothea bowed graciously, bending down to pick a rose a blonde woman was shyly offering to her, Felix couldn’t see who she was from his position.

“Your friend is really good. How did you two even know each other?” Sylvain asked once the noise had died down.

“We, uh...we went to college together.” Felix mumbled, avoiding Sylvain’s gaze. Felix didn’t like talking of his past and Sylvain had never prodded despite being really curious. The only thing the red head knew was that Ashe and Felix had met in college and Felix had gotten his glassblowing degree along with Ashe’s English Lit one. He was sure that if he hadn’t asked Ashe he would not have known.

“Gentlemen, what did you think of my performance?” Dorothea asked, joining them along with Ingrid. She had the rose the woman had given her behind her ear and Ingrid had a pretty blush on her cheeks as Dorothea locked their arms once again.

Felix narrowly avoided sighing out loud. Typical Dorothea, always attached on someone’s arm and flirting.

“Stunning, my lady. The sun has nothing on your glowing presence.” Sylvain waxed his usual poetry, but his eyes weren’t on the woman in question, just a little bit to the left, but Sylvain’s glance was lost to Felix. Not to Dorothea, however, who swooped in while the prey was still fresh.

“Why, thank you.” Was Dorothea’s gracious reply as she reached out to grab Felix’s forearm, forcing Sylvain to let go. Felix immediately felt the loss of the contact, glancing to meet Sylvain’s eyes, he noticed the other’s gaze had dimmed a little. “I’m dragging this one to the dance floor before he gets cold feet.” Dorothea exclaimed, pulling a scowling Felix away.

They set an easy pace, Felix’s many dance lessons from when he was little kicking in as if on autopilot, mixed with Dorothea’s natural talent they got into the rhythm pretty quickly.

There were other couples dancing, granting them enough privacy so that the brunette could start spinning her web.

“Not that it’s any of my business, but your ‘friend’ hasn’t taken his eyes off of you since we got here.” The woman said, falling into step with Felix as he twirled her.

“You’re right, it _isn’t_ any of your business”, Felix replied, clicking his tongue in annoyance, he knew to nip Dorothea’s plans into the bud before they could escalate too much, she was overly fond of drama.

“I can see that your eyes aren’t straying too far away either.” Dorothea continued, completely ignoring Felix’s not so subtle cue to stop meddling.

The artisan didn’t answer, following the surrounding couples and accompanying Dorothea into another twirl. He didn't think he was being that obvious, but his feelings for Sylvain had strayed far from friendship in the month they had known each other. But he was...scared. Felix had never been one for romance, too afraid of giving away his heart only for it to be returned shattered, ever since Glenn’s death, it had been hard for Felix to _not_ mask his feelings, choosing to hide behind a cold facade, keeping everyone at a safe distance. It was easier that way, no one really tried to get to know him other than at surface level or cared to. Except Sylvain. Which was…. Bothersome, in its own way, since he could tell the other had a penchant for dishonesty as well. His smile rarely reached his eyes, his flirtations were half hearted.

When his gaze turned to Felix, however, he could sense his desire to get to know him, his smiles were more sincere, his flirting had an edge of insecurity, as if he was scared of how Felix would answer.

“He’s looking at us right now, like a kicked puppy.” Dorothea chuckled, looking over Felix’s shoulder. He restrained himself from turning to check, although he did feel the back of his neck burning.

He didn’t know what to say, on one hand he had noticed Sylvain’s interest in him, though he had just brushed it off as the other man being curious of him, considering how little Felix talked about himself.

“Felix?” Dorothea asked softly, her eyebrows drawn together in worry. “There’s nothing wrong in wanting things for yourself. I can tell you like him.” She patted his shoulder in a comforting manner.

Did Felix want Sylvain? He had never thought of it, too focused on trying to ignore his feelings toward the other, stomping down on them whenever possible. Did he deserve something as good as that, while his brother rested six feet under, a life wasted away, his shadow hanging over Felix’s shoulders like a mist?

Felix let out a shaky breath, dipping Dorothea as the song ended, she giggled a little, leaning into it with complete trust.

“I’ll think about it.” He replied, low enough only she could hear him as they separated. Dorothea smiled at him sweetly, leaving him to Sylvain once again.

“You really are full of surprises.” Sylvain cheekily remarked, “You didn’t tell me you could dance.” He added after seeing Felix’s confused look.

“I don’t dance.” Felix replied, disgruntled. Truly, he had only done it as a favor to his college friend, since they hadn’t seen or heard from each other in a while. Felix felt sort of guilty for fucking off of the face of Earth. To his defence, he didn’t really think anyone would _care_.

“Save one last dance for me?” Sylvain asked, Felix couldn’t mistake the look in his eyes as anything but hopeful as the other reached for his hand with a beat of hesitance.

Felix nodded with his heart in his throat, something about Sylvain always made him short of words, grasping at straws every time the other opened his mouth with an earnest request.

“Not here.” Sylvain quickly added, tugging him away by the hold he had on his hand and Felix, as if he was a lost child or the moon running after the sun, followed.

* * *

Sylvain led him to a secluded gazebo, away from prying eyes and the rest of the garden, it was really beautiful, painted white with roses interlocking around the structure, fairy lights making it glow in the night. It was big enough for people to mingle under it, but right now it was empty, a solace for the two of them.

Sylvain let go of his arm only to grab his hand, leading him under it, a wild grin of his lips. No, not wild...happy. “You promised me a dance, Mr Fraldarius. Is your dance card full?” Sylvain joked, switching his hold on Felix’s hand so he was holding it in his own, raising them into the air. The other went on Felix’s shoulder. “I suppose I could indulge you.” Felix replied, wrapping his arm around Sylvain’s waist, bringing him flush against his body, closer than they’d ever been.

The music from the ballroom was loud enough they could hear it from there, Felix could see the huge windows lit up by chandeliers in the corner of his eyes, people swaying to the sound of the live orchestra on the dancefloor.

He led Sylvain in a simple dance, both of them gently swaying in the music, a far cry from the way he had danced with Dorothea, this was more intimate, the places where Sylvain’s hands touched were on fire, as if the other had put him under a spell.

None of them talked and at a certain point Sylvain let his head drop against Felix’s, his cheek resting against midnight hair. The position must have been a bit uncomfortable for him, but he didn’t complain. He just followed Felix’s steps gently humming along the orchestra.

Felix’s heart hammered in his chest, overwhelmed by the feelings of Sylvain so close to him, Sylvain dancing with him, Sylvain’s baritone in his ear, just... _Sylvain_.

When the music stopped, so did Felix, but he didn’t pull away. Simply stood there holding Sylvain his arms.

“Tired already?” Sylvain murmured in his ear, making Felix involuntarily shiver. There was no judgement in his voice, just curiosity and maybe a little bit of worry.

He would have shook his head in response, but he didn’t want to jostle the redhead away.

“Nothing like that. There’s no music anymore.” Felix replied, just as quietly.

“Right.” Sylvain pulled away, keeping his hold on Felix’s hand and shoulder. His eyes were shining thanks to the fairy lights, making him look ethereal.

He was smiling softly, fondly at him and it stole the air from Felix’s lungs. Sylvain looked at Felix like he was something precious to cherish. He realized that Dorothea was right, and he knew that if the woman could hear his train of thoughts right now he wouldn’t hear the end of her gloating.

Would it really be so wrong to wish one good thing? He had spent his life chasing after Glenn, hoping to get his father’s approval like he did, trying to get acknowledged or noticed just for a shred of a compliment or a fleeting gaze. It had gotten worse with Glenn’s passing, everything his brother had done falling on Felix, letting him know he would never be good enough. Not like _him_. Felix had never thought he deserved good things.

He realized Sylvain was waiting for something, anything, the careful steps he had been waiting for Felix’s final push. Inviting him to the gala as his date, hanging off his arm, whispering in his ear, letting him lead their dance. He was waiting for _Felix._

He considered Dorothea’s words again, how he deserved good things. He had always been held back by his father’s expectations, ones that were never met no matter how hard Felix worked, trying to step in the shadow of a dead, brilliant brother. Even now, far away from him he was chained down by what his father would think, about the frown he’d get on his face and the look of absolute disappointment.

He’d ignored too many times the way he reacted to Sylvain’s advances, shoving everything deep down in a box, ignoring the fluttering of his heart. He genuinely cared about Sylvain, no matter how many times he tried to deny it. Like a friend, yes, obviously. However-

However-

Sylvain was something more to him. Something else.

They were impossibly close already, inching to shorten what little distance between their bodies was left was one of the easiest things Felix had ever done in his life as he kissed Sylvain, pressing his lips to the redhead’s and closing his eyes.

Sylvain was momentarily stunned but recovered quickly, melting into Felix’s arms and tilting his head to deepen the kiss.

Felix felt giddy, Sylvain’s lips were soft and pliant and everything he’d ever dreamed of, letting out a small noise as they felt Felix’s tongue brush against them, parting willingly and meeting him with his own.

There was no booming thunder or impending sense of doom, the ground wasn’t opening underneath him to swallow him whole, just Sylvain kissing him back and releasing his hand so he could wrap his arms around shoulders as if they belonged there.

Unfortunately they had to break away to breathe and Felix pretended to not notice the string of spit that connected their lips. Ugh.

Sylvain looked at him with wide eyes, gleeful and Felix just _knew_ he was about to say something stupid to ruin the mood so he slotted their mouths together once more. They kissed slowly and unhurriedly, Sylvain’s hands moving his hands to cradle Felix’s jaw as Felix’s found their place on the redhead’s hips.

It was as if they were somewhere else, the gazebo disappearing and the muffled sound of the orchestra completely disappearing to be replaced by the slick sounds of their lips meeting, Felix’s teeth capturing Sylvain’s lower lip and tugging elicited a hitched gasp, rewarded by a tongue sweeping to soothe the ache.

“My- Shit- You want to see my room?” Sylvain stuttered, a lovely blush high on his lips as they broke the kiss.

“ _Yes._ ” Felix replied, stepping back and away from Sylvain’s body, the redhead immediately reaching for his hand and intertwining their fingers together.

The walk to Sylvain’s room took a while, both too busy pressing the other up against the nearest wall to steal a heated kiss on the way. Sylvain pressed his smile against Felix’s mouth as they met, the hot slide of their lips the only noise in the otherwise empty corridor. Sylvain’s kisses felt different than any kiss he’d ever received, each one of them lighting up a spark up his spine.

He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, one of his legs finding its way between Sylvain’s thighs and _pressing._ It was worth it to see the red head throw his head back with a silent moan, grabbing onto Felix’s biceps to keep him there.

Felix sighed into him, flicking his tongue on Sylvain’s lower lip and making a disappointed noise when the other pulled away. Felix had never felt like this, as if he’d let go of Sylvain he’d disappear from his arms, he cursed himself for how he had let the man snare his heart in such a tight hold in a short time.

He wrapped his arms around Sylvain’s middle as the other struggled to open his door and fought with the doorknob, placing an open mouthed kiss to the nape of his neck and relishing on the slight gasp and shiver it caused, grinning against the skin of Sylvain’s neck.

The other finally managed to wrench the door open, letting out a sound of victory that made Felix chuckle lowly as Sylvain pulled him inside and closed the door by pinning Felix against it.

After that, it was all a blur of kisses, clothes being discarded and Felix finally, _finally_ managing to tug off and away that ridiculously tight red jacket, throwing it to the floor as if it had personally offended him. Sylvain chuckled as he pressed a sweet kiss to his lips, his own fingers working swiftly to undo Annette’s work in Felix’s hair.

He let out a sigh when Felix’s hair cascaded down, looking at the midnight tresses that reached the middle of Felix’s back and Sylvain busied himself with it, running it between his fingers and smoothing out knots, grabbing it and using it to tilt Felix’s head to the side so he could get his mouth on his neck, leaving a constellation of open mouthed kisses.

Felix let out a moan as Sylvain started worrying a hickey under his jaw, it was too much and not enough at the same time, a thunderstorm of emotions ready to sweep him up and steal his breath away. He didn’t let it, pushing Sylvain against the bed and following right behind him and straddling his waist.

* * *

Felix woke up slowly, his awareness coming back bit by bit and he stretched, feeling a weight on his chest stir with him. _Sylvain._

The other man had his head against Felix’s chest, his arms around Felix’s waist to cage him against his body, their legs so tangled he wasn’t sure where he started and Sylvain ended.

The red head mumbled something against his pectoral before hugging him closer and nuzzling against his skin.

Felix didn’t cuddle after sex, Hell, he even rarely stayed after it was over and done. If his partner tried to draw him closer he’d push them away and leave. But Sylvain only made his heart swell with fondness and he found himself reaching out to run his fingers through ginger hair, dragging against Sylvain’s scalp and feeling him positively _melt_ against him.

“I have to get up.” Felix whispered, tugging on red strands gently. “Sylvain, come on.”

“Don’t wanna.” Was the muffled whine he got in reply, Sylvain bringing them even closer in an attempt to stop him from squirming. “My ass hurts.” He added.

Felix snorted, “You asked for it.”

The other yawned, Felix, taking advantage, sat up, running a hand through his hair. His tie was as good as gone, he guessed. He hadn’t exactly paid attention to where Sylvain had put it.

“Here.” The man in question said, offering up his wrist where his tie rested. Felix was surprised by how much care Sylvain had paid attention to him, even for a little thing like keeping track of his hair tie.

“Thank you.” He said, grabbing it and arranging his hair into a messy bun. He really couldn’t waste more time. There were ovens waiting to be turned on so that Felix could work with them at the right temperature.

His suit was rumpled to hell and back, but he put it back anyway, smoothing his hands over it to fix the worst of the wrinkles.

“Call me when you get there?” Sylvain sat up as well, one of his knees drawn to his chest as he looked at Felix, dressed and ready to go.There was a bit of hesitance in his voice, as if he expected Felix to exit that door and not come back, disappearing from his life.

It came as much as a surprise to Felix when he realized he wanted to stay like this, to stay with Sylvain, laze in bed all day doing nothing but kissing and talking. That he wanted whatever they were or were going to be.

He was a vision, mussed up hair and neck littered with hickeys and love marks that Felix had worried into his skin the previous night, looking up at him with apprehension, vulnerable and open.

“I will.” There was a half smile on his lips as he stepped closer to the bed, cupping Sylvain’s cheeks to draw him into a sweet, closed mouthed kiss that the red head eagerly returned.

“Fuck. I need to lay back down. My ass _really_ hurts.” Sylvain complained, throwing his body back against the mattress.

Felix’s amused huff of laughter accompanied him as he closed the door behind his back.

It was going to be a good day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune back in September for the last two chapters!
> 
> I'm on twitter![@hanzohoemada](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada)
> 
> Artwork by [LostKimin](https://twitter.com/LostKimin)!


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loving Felix was a bit like being on a plane during a thunderstorm. The plane will shake and tremble and you wouldn’t be sure you’d survive, you just hang onto your seat with both your hands with all your strength, hoping to the Goddess it would end well. However, if the pilots are determined enough, you’ll land safely, with your heart intact and your love of life stronger.

It had been kind of an hectic week, Sylvain had been too busy to do anything more than text Felix, who had apparently had a surge in clients after the Gala. Felix still hadn’t managed to knock him down a few pegs for all the gloating he did about it. 

They had disappeared in the chaos of the party, both too preoccupied with each other to care much.

Sylvain’s mother still hadn’t questioned him about his definitely _male_ date, but he was sure she would, eventually. Nothing escaped his mother or his father’s eyes. Plus, they had been stared at during the whole thing. Not that he had noticed that much, too focused on how good Felix looked in his blue suit, his hair just begging for Sylvain to bury his hand in it and utterly ruin it. He had, in the end. Yet another thing he wouldn’t stop gloating about, much to Felix’s chagrin. 

He was feeling pretty good about himself, up until the moment he entered Felix’s shop for their usual lunch date and he saw Ashe glancing at his phone with a worried expression on his face. 

“You okay?” Sylvain asked, making the younger man just about jump from his skin. Sylvain’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline.

“Sylvain! Hello!” Ashe exclaimed, pointing for cheerfulness but definitely landing a few meters down.

“Yeah. I’m just- Felix has taken the day off but hasn’t replied to any of my texts.” Ashe was biting his lower lip, his eyes falling on his phone yet again.

Huh. Felix wasn’t an avid texter, but he would have replied to Sylvain’s texts too by now, since it was well into his usual lunch break.

“He always takes this day off and I-” Ashe took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. “I would check on him myself but he told me to keep the shop open. There’s been a lot of new customers lately and he doesn’t want the business to go down.”

“I can check on him.” Sylvain blurted, without realizing what he was saying. “I mean, we had to go for lunch anyway, right?” 

Ashe, for all that was worth, seemed to be really worried about Felix, so he didn’t tease him or send him significant glances. Or maybe Felix had told him something about what had happened at the gala, which was the more plausible option, really.

Still, Ashe relented and gave him the address, making him promise he’d make Felix text him or that he would keep him posted.

He made his way to the apartment, not before stopping to Felix’s favorite Almyran place to pick up lunch. He didn’t know if Felix had eaten yet, and he wanted to make sure first.

He hadn’t questioned Ashe on _why_ Felix had taken that particular day off, and he was sure the silver haired man wouldn’t tell him anyway. Not that it was any of Sylvain’s business.

What if the other didn’t want to see him? They both knew Wednsdays were dedicated for their lunch dates, and had been since they had known each other, Sylvain showing up at the shop right on the dot, ready to drag Felix out to eat, much to Ashe’s relief.

It couldn’t be….could it? Maybe Felix had something going on already and simply forgot, right?

As he gazed up at the apartment building where Felix lived, Sylvain realized that there was nothing left but discover himself. He looked up the various names on the intercom until he spotted a familiar “Fraldarius” and pressed.

Sylvain bounced on the balls of his feet in trepidation, almost jumping out of his skin when he heard a familiar, grumpy voice.

“Who is it?” Felix asked and wow. He hoped it was just the audio quality and not that the other was really _that_ pissed.

“It’s, uh, Sylvain.” He replied, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head, his other hand clutching the plastic bag of take out as if it could bring him comfort. It just crinkled.

There was silence in reply and Sylvain was considering if maybe Felix _had_ been avoiding him, even though taking a day off of work for it seemed extreme even for him. He _was_ a workaholic after all.

“Fuck. It’s Wednesday, isn’t it?” Felix asked, the question was rhetorical but Sylvain still hummed in response. He had just forgotten. He felt a small sliver of hope before realizing he didn’t know if it was a good or bad thing.

“Come on up.” Felix interrupted his train of thought before it could spiral even further and his heart lifted as he struggled to get the door open with the bags, like an overeager idiot.

Sylvain knocked at the door, another surge of anxiety taking hold as he thought, _oh shit, I’m about to see Felix’s apartment._

It was all too soon wiped away by worry when he saw the state Felix was. His usual eyebags were darker, as if he hadn’t been sleeping, his eyes red rimmed and puffed up with tear tracks clear on his face. Sylvain felt his heart squeeze at the sight.

“I...brought lunch?” He said in greeting, raising the bags and permeating the air in the familiar and delicious smell of Almyrian food, Felix only grunted in acknowledgement but Sylvain didn’t miss how his shoulders had somewhat relaxed.

He moved away from the door, gesturing the red head inside and Sylvain followed him into the kitchen, placing the bags on the island. Neither of them talked, causing Sylvain to worry at his lower lip with his teeth lightly.

Felix looked at the bags, then at Sylvain, stepping closer to rest his brow against the red head’s collarbone, the smell of his shampoo and a distinct smell that Sylvain had learned to associate to Felix making his heart skyrocket before he remembered to wrap his arms around the other, bringing him closer.

Felix didn’t cry, letting Sylvain lean his back against the counter and bringing Felix with him, his hand running up and down his spine in a comforting manner, his other clasped around the nape of his neck, keeping him close to his collarbone.

He belatedly realized that was the first time he had ever comforted someone without ulterior motives, not unless it was Dimitri or Ingrid. He expected to panic, to feel the need to run away and maybe never look back until Felix forgot him. Instead, he felt overly calm, with Felix in his arms like he belonged there, in a little bubble where no one else existed.

The artisan pulled back a little, unable to completely break the hug with Sylvain’s arms still wrapped around him. There was a pretty blush on his cheeks, Sylvain by now knew Felix hated looking vulnerable, shoving his feelings deep down in his chest and burying them.

“Ashe’s worried about you, you know.” Sylvain threaded lightly, as if walking on fragile ice bound to break under his feet at any time.

“Fuck.” Felix groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. “I haven’t looked at my phone since yesterday.” He confessed.

“Oh.” Sylvain replied, dropping his hands to his sides. “When was the last time you ate?” Sylvain had a hunch, but he still wanted Felix to answer him.

Silence was his answer. Sylvain sighed softly, cupping Felix’s face and leaning to leave a kiss on his brow.

“Let me take care of you.” Felix bristled at the words, pulling away from the red head with a scowl that would have made literally anyone else recoil. Not Sylvain, though.

“I don’t fucking need you to play baby sitter, I can take care of myself.” Felix crossed his arms over his chest, looking defiant and ready to argue with Sylvain just for the sake of it. He looked ready to stomp his foot like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Adorable, really.

“Alright, alright.” Sylvain raised his hands palm up, admitting defeat. “But seriously, the food’s getting cold.”

Felix scoffed but relented, helping Sylvain unpack the food and they settled on Felix’s small couch. The apartment was cozy, if a little bare bones. It was as if Felix was always waiting for an occasion to pack his stuff and leave at a moment’s notice.

Sylvain’s eyes fell on a picture hanging above the TV, too far away for him to actually look at it properly.

“Are you done with your inspection?” Felix asked, raising an eyebrow. Sylvain grinned at him, sheepish.

Felix was digging into his food like a starved man, proving Sylvain’s suspicion that he hadn’t eaten in a while. He wondered how he wasn’t burning his tongue with the level of spiciness, but knowing Felix it was probably mild to his taste buds.

“So, what happened, Fe?” He asked, once the containers were empty and Felix had relaxed. “You don’t have to tell me, I just...Well, we were worried.” 

Felix raised an eyebrow at the nickname, immediately hunching over at Sylvain’s gentle prodding, his expression closing off. It gave Sylvain pause, scared he had fucked up, even though he knew sometimes Felix just needed a moment to express his feelings.

“My brother, he-” Felix swallowed, his gaze falling on his hands as he flexed his fingers to collect himself. “It’s the anniversary of his death.” Felix confessed, quietly.

“Oh, _Fe.”_ Sylvain whispered, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him closer, surprisingly, Felix didn’t fight him on that, simply letting him.

They didn’t talk for a while, the only noise were the cars outside and Sylvain’s pounding heart. He was sure Felix could hear it from where he was pressed against his chest, but he said nothing.

“I don’t usually let people see me like this.” Felix said, which Sylvain translated to _I don’t want people to see me like this but I trust you enough._

He was touched, really. To be needed like this, to _need_ someone like this was something Sylvain didn’t know. Sure, he chased people all the time, but not because he _needed_ them. It was for that short lasting feeling of euphoria that always came after sex, those few minutes of complete bliss that helped him forget and let him pretend he was a different person. 

Not Sylvain Jose Gautier, son of a CEO. Not Sylvain Jose Gautier, known womanizer. Not Sylvain Jose Gautier, family fuck up along with his older brother.

It was peculiar. He didn’t feel the need to act with Felix, he could just be _himself_ , someone he hadn’t been comfortable being in a long time. He felt that no matter what Sylvain said, Felix wouldn’t judge him. He’d accept him and understand.

Someone turned on the television for some white noise and soon enough Sylvain found himself being used as a pillow by an unusually clingy Felix.

As he laid down, looking at the ceiling with Felix draped over his body, head on his chest as he breathed softly, he realized this was the first time either of them talked, simply basking in each other's presence. Sylvain hated silences, always made him uncomfortable and gave him the need to fill it with words, but with Felix it was nice. There was no need for empty words.

Felix fell asleep soon enough, soothed Sylvain’s fingers gently running through his hair and massaging his scalp. He looked younger in his sleep, the frown ever present on his face bleeding into nothing, his cheek pressed against Sylvain's chest that would surely leave a mark later making him nothing short of adorable. Felix would kill him if he called him that, though.

He didn’t wake up for dinner, not even when night had fallen and Sylvain scooped him up to put him to bed.

Sylvain finally got a good look at the picture above the TV as he hoisted up Felix to bring him to his room. He immediately recognized Felix, younger, looking less pissed than he usually did, his mouth pulled into an actual _smile_ and with his long hair in a bun. There was a slightly older boy next to him, his aquamarine eyes full of mirth as he pulled Felix in for a side hug, smiling to the camera. There was no doubt the other was Felix’s brother, they could’ve been twins, the only difference was in height (Felix was slightly taller) and the eyes (Felix’s molten gold eyes were just as captivating in the picture as they were in real life). 

He wondered what happened to his brother as he pulled doors open until he finally found Felix’s bedroom and placed him on the mattress.Sylvain was about to pull the covers over Felix’s body when a hand closed over his wrist, Felix stirring against the sheets in a way that would have been tantalizing in any other situation.

“Spend the night.” Felix said, no, _commanded_ , tugging him on the bed. It was Felix’s way of telling him he didn’t want to be alone and Sylvain nodded, kicking off his shoes and jeans before climbing onto the mattress with him.

Felix settled once that Sylvain had covered them both, his arms cinching around the redhead’s waist as if they belonged there.

∼

Sylvain woke up to a thrashing and screaming Felix in his arms, he couldn’t decipher much of what the other was yelling, only the occasional “Glenn” and a whispered “Don’t leave.”

He drew Felix closer to his body, gently calling his name and smoothing his hand down the artisan’s side, shushing him gently. It worked as Felix woke up with a start and a gasp, hunching in on himself in a fetal position as he struggled to suck in air as he shivered like a leaf.

“Hey, it’s okay. I’m here, you’re safe.” Sylvain murmured, brushing away midnight strands from the other’s face and pressing his lips to the back of his neck.

“Breathe with me.” He waited for Felix to calm down, exaggerating his breathing so he could follow it and match it with his own.

Gradually, Felix’s breathing returned to normal, he leaned back into Sylvain’s warmth and let out a shuddering breath, the tear tracks on his face still damp. He didn’t talk, reaching for the hand that was currently caressing his hip and interlocking their fingers.

“ _Fuck_.” Felix sighed, hiding his face in his pillow. Sylvain smiled wryly in sympathy but said nothing.

“Everything alright? Want me to get you some water?” The red head squeezed Felix’s hand, pressing another kiss to the nape of his neck and noticing that the other had stopped shivering slightly. Good.

Sylvain had to deal with nightmares of his own, usually alone in his apartment with only his neighbors to disturb. Hands grabbing at him and muffling his cries for help, phantom pains from Miklan’s fists burning through his skin. They were never fun.

At least he could be there for Felix during this one. Felix didn’t voice his relief, but Sylvain was more glad he could comfort him than having his ego stroked over something so small.

“No. Stay.” Felix replied, his voice hoarse from the yelling. 

Sylvain cursed himself for not waking up sooner, too comfortable with Felix sleeping in his arms. He was usually a light sleeper, the softest noise making him bolt upright and look around for a threat, even if Miklan was six feet underground and long gone. Funny, the things that happen to people in jail.

“Sylvain, I can hear you thinking. Just ask.” Felix snapped, just as on edge as him, paired up with the embarrassment of having woken him up with a nightmare.

“I won’t ask if you don’t want to tell me.” He scooted back as Felix turned in his arms, scowling and unfairly handsome even with red rimmed eyes and dried tears on his face. Always taking Sylvain’s breath away so easily.

“I’m not-” Felix interrupted himself, shaking his head. “You know already, so it would be pointless not talking about it.”

Sylvain took a deep breath, his hand moving on Felix’s back in soothing gestures as he recollected his thoughts. How could he ask Felix about his older brother? In a way that remembering him wouldn’t hurt the man in his arms?

Well, starting small couldn’t hurt, he reasoned.

“Tell me about him.” He asked.

“Glenn was...well, he was everything my father ever wanted in a son.” Felix huffed out a hollow laugh, causing Sylvain to immediately reach out for his hand and squeeze it to comfort him.

“He had so many expectations from him, I suppose Glenn just...couldn’t stand them anymore. He wanted out.” Felix didn’t look at him, his expression softening as he returned the squeeze on his hand. 

“He joined the Marines, because apparently college three states over wasn’t enough.” Felix’s bitter expression didn’t subside. 

“He didn’t survive his third deployment. He threw himself on a grenade to save a recruit.” His midnight strands hid his face, a weak barrier to hide the tears that were now freely falling from his eyes onto the sheets below.

Sylvain couldn’t say he understood that kind of sorrow, the bone-deep sadness of losing a brother you loved. He and Miklan had never been close, the only tears Sylvain shed for him were the ones when he was hurting from his fists. Even when he had been informed of his death he had felt...nothing. Relief, even, for how horrible that had been.

He brushed back Felix’s hair, wiping away his tears with his thumb. He cupped his cheek, resting their foreheads together as Felix squeezed his eyes shut, trying to avoid eye contact. He let him, murmuring sweet nothings in their shared breaths as Felix cried.

“Stupid, fucking - He couldn’t stop being selfless-” Felix stuttered, his chest heaving with suppressed sobs. Sylvain understood that this was the dam breaking - Felix’s emotions spilling for all the world to see.

Not that Felix was emotionless, no. His expression showed in the little things, the twitch of his lips, an eyebrow raised or narrowed - it was all there, Sylvain knew where to look.

Sylvain made gentle shushing noises, unable to do much more than anything than waiting for Felix to calm down. Felix was so used to shove his pain in a box and attempting to forget about it that his emotions simply built up, up and up, until he let them all out in one fell swoop. Being and showing himself vulnerable was perceived as a weakness, Sylvain had discovered.

He had spent the past months studying attentively and mapping his face. Because, well, he was in love. And being in love with Felix was-

Loving Felix was-

Loving Felix was a bit like being on a plane during a thunderstorm. The plane will shake and tremble and you wouldn’t be sure you’d survive, you just hang onto your seat with both your hands with all your strength, hoping to the Goddess it would end well. However, if the pilots are determined enough, you’ll land safely, with your heart intact and your love of life stronger.

Felix calmed down gradually, his sobs subsiding in small, hiccups and then...nothing. Nothing but his face pressed against Sylvain’s shirt and his hands smoothing down the fabric as he pulled away to look at him, his lips parting to take in air. The very same lips that Sylvain had kissed, that had left long faded marks on his body, that he had seen laugh and smile. 

“I love you.” He said, because he did, and he couldn’t keep quiet about it anymore. His heart in his throat, withering by the minute as silence stretched between them.

Felix didn’t answer, not verbally, at least. He stilled, voiceless as his sobs subsided. Then, softly, tentatively, kissed him.

And kissed him.

And kissed him.

“You’re such a fucking idiot.” Felix uttered, blushing and making Sylvain laugh in response.

Yeah, he supposed he was. Being in love made you a bit of an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We're almost done with this fic and I am excited to hear y'alls thoughts! It's one of my longest fics and I'm really proud of it.
> 
> [My twitter!](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada) Illustrations by [LostKimin](https://twitter.com/LostKimin)
> 
> [Link to Fic's promo](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada/status/1297564253302521857?s=20) [Link to the artwork's promo](https://twitter.com/LostKimin/status/1297565245955809280?s=20)


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix had packed all of his things up, his shitty apartment long since left behind for Sylvain's much nicer one. Said nicer apartment was also further from the forge, but Sylvain gave him a ride almost every morning.
> 
> Oreo, who Sylvain had only met after more than a few visits at Felix’s house due to the cat’s shy nature, wasn’t exactly thrilled at the idea of moving. Up until he discovered plenty of napping spots in Sylvain’s, frankly huge, apartment.
> 
> On the other hand, Sylvain gained his longest lasting relationship of five years sharing his living space with Felix. Among with other things. Being in love unfortunately also meant compromising, and there was a lot of compromising to do considering how stubborn the both of them were. The make up sex was great, however, Felix couldn’t deny it.

Felix had packed all of his things up, his shitty apartment long since left behind for Sylvain's much nicer one. Said nicer apartment was also further from the forge, but Sylvain gave him a ride almost every morning.

Oreo, who Sylvain had only met after more than a few visits at Felix’s house due to the cat’s shy nature, wasn’t exactly thrilled at the idea of moving. Up until he discovered plenty of napping spots in Sylvain’s, frankly huge, apartment.

On the other hand, Sylvain gained his longest lasting relationship of five years sharing his living space with Felix. Among with other things. Being in love unfortunately also meant compromising, and there was a lot of compromising to do considering how stubborn the both of them were. The make up sex was great, however, Felix couldn’t deny it.

The idea came to him on a typical Wednesday, as he was aimlessly scrolling down his phone while laying on the bed with Oreo - their bed, now - after Ashe and Sylvain had coerced him to take at least _one_ day per week off from the shop.

The noise of the front door being unlocked and closed stirred him from his spot and, soon enough, Sylvain entered the bedroom shedding his tie and shoes haphazardly around the room in a very un-Sylvain like manner. It had been a bad day or at least a stressing one.

“Work okay?” Felix asked, glancing at his boyfriend’s sullen face.

Sylvain didn’t say anything, eliciting to arrange himself on Felix as if his body was a pillow. Felix huffed, amused. Like a dog not realizing he was too big to sit on his owner’s lap. He ran his fingers through mussed up red hair, receiving a moan in answer, Sylvain cuddling closer to him.

“So-so. How was your day? Relaxing?” Sylvain raised his head from its spot on Felix’s shoulder and kissed him, slow and sweet, unhurried as if they had all the time in the world. 

Felix supposed they did. 

He hummed in response to the question, helping Sylvain to discard his suit jacket and his tie while exchanging kisses. Once Sylvain was in his undershirt he fell back to melting against Felix’s body in the human equivalent of a ragdoll.

“What, that bad?” He chuckled.

“The fucking worst.” Sylvain whined, nuzzling Felix’s throat and leaving kisses on the lovebites from the previous night.

Sylvain had been training to take over for his father’s company for a while now, they were just waiting for the walking corpse to actually _step the fuck down_ _and leave the role to Sylvain._

There had been a huge argument a few days after they got together, Sylvain’s parents had been furious over the prospect of their son with a man, however, considering he was the only heir left they had to relent. Felix had been very smug when Sylvain had pointed that out. It was either disowning him and leaving the company to someone else outside the family or suck it up and save their business.

Capitalism was an unforgiving bitch.

Felix was so engrossed in his thoughts over Sylvain’s family he hadn’t realized the man in question was deep asleep, the kind of bone deep relaxation that came with feeling safe and comfortable. He still had nightmares, waking up Felix in the middle of the night and calming down only when Felix wrapped his arms around him, pulling him to his chest, but they were few and far in between.

He gave up on being used as a pillow for the following hours, running his hand down Sylvain’s broad shoulders and back when it hit him.

Felix wanted to spend the rest of his life with this man.

∼

The thought kept mulling over Felix’s head, pesky and persistent, always in the back of his thought like a beloved shirt waiting to be pulled out from the closet.

Marrying Sylvain. Spending his whole life with him.

Marriage wasn’t something he had ever considered, had never quite thought himself capable of loving someone else this much, of _someone else_ loving _him_ this much. 

He also had to take in account that no one ever came close to understand him as Sylvain did, and even when he didn’t, he was there for him, comforting words and waiting arms always open for him, ready to take him in and never letting go.

“Felix? Hey, Felix.” Annette’s sweet face came into view, shaking him away from his thoughts. 

“Are you going to eat that?” She asks, pointing to the complimentary plate of cookies he had gotten with his drink order.

“No. Take them.” He replied, pushing the plate in her direction and being rewarded with a bright smile.

“Everything okay?” Mercedes smiled knowingly at him, reading him like an open book. Mercedes’ ability to know whenever something was wrong was uncannily accurate and borderline supernatural.

“I’m fine.” Felix replied, the need to protect himself from other people prying in his personal life still stronger despite the close friendship he had with the women in front of him.

“You’ve been spacing out since you got here.” Annette pointed out, her frown quickly turning worried. The legs of her chair scraped on the floor making them all wince as she brought it closer to him.

“Everything alright with Sylvain?” Mercedes asked, reaching out for his hand and clasping it between hers. He used to recoil from physical touch, but not Mercedes’. While he considered Annette as a sort of little sister, Mercedes had quickly taken the role of big sister with her quiet concern and gentle touches.

“Yes. Things are...good. Better than good.” Felix’s answer was halting, he lowered his gaze to the ground while he worked out on how to break the idea he had come up with to them.

“You’re going to propose.” Annette gasped, bringing her hands to cover her mouth with a delighted smile.

Felix’s head snapped up, ready to reply with a scathing remark from embarrassment but couldn’t bring himself when he saw their happy smiles and kind words. 

Mercedes squeezed his hand reassuringly and he realized this had been what he needed.

The final push. The two women were two of the closest people in his life and if they approved, well.

Felix was only missing a ring.

He’d never imagine he would be the one to propose, Sylvain was the one for big and small romantic gestures. Impromptu going outs for dinner dates, little gifts for no apparent reason, his favorite food when he was feeling down.

It had taken an embarrassingly long time for Felix to get used to, he was still adjusting, to be honest. Felix had always found hard accepting genuine gestures, the feeling of being worthy of love was still...a work in progress for him. It was easier with Sylvain at his side, his dimpled smile and sheer acceptance, ready to back off at the drop of a hat.

He knew, in theory, what love was supposed to feel like. He had never gotten closer to it than when he was with Sylvain, his beacon of light when he was feeling in complete darkness and without a sense for himself, carved empty by the need of mirroring Glenn in everything and anything to be deemed enough in everyone’s eyes.

There was no need of that with him, he could simply _be_ and be loved, even if it was a foreign concept in his eyes, he always believed Sylvain’s “I love you”’s, even the ones that were whispered against his naked skin, uttered as he was toeing the line between wakefulness and sleep. The small kisses filled with the coffee aroma from their mugs in the morning, the ones as Sylvain dropped him off at work, his arm around him when they were out or cuddling on the couch.

_Love. Love. Love. Love._

Unknown and yet in his reach. All he had to do was to reach out his hand and not let go.

∼

Felix sighed, Sylvain’s smart mouth kissing down his naked chest as he reached out a hand to bury in ginger hair, receiving a grateful hum in response.

As Sylvain worried a hickey on his hip bone, his hand traveling lower and lower, he felt a wave of insecurity, his mind dragging him away forcefully from the pleasant haze Sylvain had lulled it into with his careful kisses and nips to his skin.

_What if Sylvain doesn’t want to get married?_

The thought hit him with the force of a sledgehammer to the ribs, stealing away his breath and sending him in a panicked state.

He must have tensed up, because before he realized he couldn’t feel lips on his skin and the hand that had been slipping under his waistband was gone, instead, he found himself looking at worried honey colored eyes. He averted his gaze.

“Babe? You with me?” Sylvain asked, gently cradling his cheek to make their eyes meet again, “Was I going too fast?” There’s a hint of worry in his voice.

Felix made an aborted sound that was dangerously close to laughter. Five years together and Sylvain was still checking in on him, it made his heart flutter uncomfortably in that way he had started to associate with Sylvain being near to him.

He used the hold on his hair to guide him down, it didn’t escape his notice how Sylvain willingly followed his lead, crashing their lips together in a passionate kiss that involved more tongue than lips.

Sylvain eagerly responded, his hands flying to Felix’s waist to pull him closer, his moan barely muffled by the slick sound of their mouths meeting. He rewarded him with his teeth sinking into his bottom lip and pulled, immediately sweeping his tongue over the indents left on the skin.

It was effortless, it was heaven how Sylvain’s body immediately responded to him as if lit on fire, as if, even after five years together and not many firsts left, Felix was still a novelty to discover. Something still precious to him.

“ _Felix._ Fe, _Fe_.” Sylvain whispered, once they separated, his mouth open as he panted, spit-slick and swollen. It was music to his ears, how utterly taken apart he was with only one kiss. A small revenge for all the times Sylvain had turned him into a whining mess.

“I love you.” He said, looking as Sylvain blinked twice and then his face opened up in a bright smile, dimples showing at the corners of his mouth looking at him with eyes full of fondness. He was _blushing_ which only happened when Felix did or said something particularly sappy. 

After so long, Sylvain was still surprised when Felix showed affection and it made him feel guilty, remembering how much Sylvain struggled with accepting love as well. Felix knew he wasn’t the most affectionate person, his feelings better expressed with touches, but, he knew the redhead needed more than that some times. He did, too.

The anxiety in his chest quelled slightly as he wrapped his legs around Sylvain’s waist again, drawing him and close. Breathing him in and resting his head against his collarbone, nothing felt quite like home like Sylvain near him.

There was still a small ball of nerves bothering him, plenty of _what if_ ’s and doubts making themselves known in the back of Felix’s mind, not as loud as before, not quite as bothersome. Just a little nagging sensation, a needle piercing his skin.

Even that disappeared, with Sylvain reaching for his hand and filling the spaces between his fingers with his own while he made love to him, a pleasant fuzz taking over his body and his mind.

Later, whilst they panted to regain their breath, Sylvain’s face pressed against his chest with Felix’s fingers combing through his unruly hair, the doubts were gone. There were just him, Sylvain, and their heartbeats syncing up as one.

“Sooo…..”, Sylvain raised his head from Felix’s chest, propping himself on his elbow and casually trying to hide his worry. “What was all that about?”

What _was_ that all about? Felix himself wanted to know. He didn’t want Sylvain to worry, however, or make him think it was his fault somehow. He resumed his soft touches in Sylvain’s red locks, moving the bangs that had stuck on his forehead with sweat gently.

“Just….thinking about work.” Felix lied, a flimsy excuse even to his own ears. He held back a wince. He had always been a bad liar, but especially with Sylvain. He didn’t want to hide things from him, but he also didn’t want to expose himself and his plan to propose to him.

“Work.” Sylvain replied dryly, not fooled at all. He had a frown on his face, causing Felix to reach out and smooth out the lines between his brows with his fingers.

Sylvain sighed, immediately mollified by the gesture, hiding his face in the crook of Felix’s neck and throwing an arm across his waist. Felix knew him better than himself at this point, realizing immediately that his lie hadn’t helped Sylvain in feeling insecure about himself.

He cursed himself, dropping his hand to Sylvain’s shoulder to pull him closer against his side. He looked at the ceiling, a feeling of unease settling heavy in his heart.

“You’ll tell me if it’s serious? Promise?” The other mumbled, his lips moving delicately on Felix’s skin, voice muffled.

 _I’m a fucking asshole._ Felix thought, scooting to get closer to Sylvain, a house cat looking for affection. And maybe to lick his wounds a little bit.

“Promise.”

∼

Sylvain left a few days later, called away for work for his family’s company. They shared a kiss bordering on inappropriate at the departures area of the airport. Not that anyone complained, or that they cared, too wrapped up in each other to pay attention to their surroundings.

Sylvain had given him a last, small peck and had waved until he disappeared, swept away by the airport’s bureaucratic checks.

Felix regretted letting Sylvain convince him to drive them there and not just get a cab.The parking lot was disgustingly expensive, but as he fixed the rearview mirror of Sylvain’s over the top car (goddessdamnit, Sylvain) he caught sight of a hoodie forgotten in the back seat, the same one Sylvain had lent him a few nights ago while they were on a walk and Felix had shivered from the cold. It made a warm feeling spread inside his chest.

Sylvain had already sent him three messages in the span of the few minutes they had gotten separated.

**Vain ❤**

Miss you already 😢 **😘**

**Vain ❤**

I love you ❤❤

**Vain ❤**

Also I looked at your ass when you walked away

Felix huffed out a laugh, listening to the car read the messages out loud, the robotic voice making them sound even more ridiculous. He already knew this was only the start and that Sylvain will probably have blown up his phone by the end of the week, sending messages and pictures of things he thought Felix would enjoy. It was endearing, not that he’d never admit it to the man’s face. He didn’t need Sylvain's ego to become even bigger than it already was.

As much as he would miss the man, he realized this was the best opportunity he had to put into work the idea he had been turning over his mind in a while. Sylvain’s absence would make sure he wouldn’t get suspicious over his actions. Felix called Ashe from the car’s fancy system while he buckled his belt, his plan brewing in his mind as he settled his back against the seat, catching a familiar whiff of Sylvain’s expensive cologne on the leather. It was relaxing, he realized, pulling out of the parking spot.

The silver haired man provided to be useful, since he had already had to shop for Dedue’s ring. It settled Felix to know he had options and someone to rely on, not that he’d tell Ashe that. He was sure the man could tell from the slightly relieved tone of Felix’s voice, anyway.

He thanked Ashe, who sounded a bit groggy and barely awake since it was his day off and let him get back to his day. Felix felt a little bad for waking him up, just a little, but he couldn’t suppress the rush of giddiness at the realization that he was going to actually pull it off if everything settled into place. 

Felix just hoped Sylvain hadn’t noticed him subtly wrapping his ring finger with his own fingers to gauge Sylvain’s ring size. Felix had tried to do it only when the other was asleep, sometime catching himself while they were comfortably watching Netflix in their living room, Felix resting in the crook of Sylvain’s arm while the redhead tried to not to doze off after a long day at work spent dealing with his father’s bullshit.

∼

“I think that one is really pretty, Felix.” Mercedes breathed as she stepped next to him, wrapping her arms around Felix’s own. It was a comfortable weight, not oppressing. He let her be while she hooked her chin over his shoulder.

Felix gave another skeptical look at the ring he was looking at in the display and shook his head in response, receiving a giggle from the blond.

“Fair enough.You know Sylvain better than us.” She acknowledged, pulling him away to the next display where Ashe was observing more rings. 

Felix felt a headache incoming. He wasn’t one for jewelry and neither was Sylvain. The only necklace he always wore were Glenn’s dog tags, resting comfortably against his chest, right above his heart.

“Maybe something simple?” Mercie’s whispered suggestion brought him back to the present and far from gentle icy blue eyes and the loud guffaw Glenn usually let out when Felix said something particularly mean about their father.

“Honestly, I am sure you will know when you see it, Felix!” Ashe encouraged, since he was actually looking at _wedding bands_ and therefore was useless to him right now. He understood, though. Sort of.

“Yes - with Annie, I immediately knew. It’s like instincts!” Great. So it was about instincts now. He was _fucked_.

He tried to think of Sylvain, what he loved about him and what had made him fall in love with him. The rare, genuine smiles, his laugh- not the loud, fake one- the one that resembled more of a giggle and that he hid behind his hand. His honey colored eyes, always gazing at Felix full of love and fondness, crinkling at the edges with laugh lines more often these days. The weird noise that sounded half like a moan and a yawn when he woke up, bringing Felix against his chest as it developed into a full blown yawn. Or just to keep him close a little while longer before they each had to get ready for work.

How he would never wake up on weekends until Felix had gone for his morning run, ran a shower and brought him breakfast in bed. Or, when he cooked and lifted Felix on the kitchen counter, sharing a taste of whatever he was working on through deep kisses that always left both of them dazed and thoroughly distracted from what was sitting in the pan.

There were a million small things that made Felix fall in love with Sylvain even more every day, and a million big things that had brought him to this moment, looking for a suitable ring for his lover.

Being with Sylvain was normal, both of them so attuned to each other's mood and quirks they just flowed around each other, effortlessly and elegantly.

Akin to waves crashing against a sandy beach, flowing and ebbing, practiced and fascinating. It was something mundane, but it was always mesmerizing to watch how the world kept spinning, uncaring of what was happening around it. 

That was what being in love with Sylvain felt like. Something practiced and bound to happen. Fated.

Not to say that their relationship was boring, not at all. Sylvain had always something planned for them, dates, outings, dinners.

And sometimes, sometimes when Felix was in charge they'd spend the night in, watching a movie. Soaking up the other's presence, whispering between them, with the chatter from the TV serving as background for their kisses.

“That one.” Felix said, ponting at a particular ring in the display he was looking at. If Mercedes’ gasp and Ashe’s pat on his shoulder told him anything, was that he had chosen well.

It _was_ instincts, after all.

∼

Sylvain’s greeting, when he came back, consisted of picking him up and kissing him, making sure to spin him in his arms and catching the attention of anyone passing by, too.

“Miss me, Gautier?” Felix teased, once his feet were touching the ground once again. They both still had their arms around each other, though. “It’s only been...what? Two weeks?”

“Two weeks without your cute, little flat ass are torture, babe.” Sylvain solemnly announced, earning himself a small shove and laughing.

 _“Fucker.”_ Felix replied, without venom and with a ring heavy in his pocket that let him know how little he actually minded Sylvain’s jab.

They spent the following days in a flurry of naps and sleepy cuddles, up until they had to get up for work. Sylvain’s sleep schedule was a little bit messed up, preventing them from doing much of anything but wrap themselves around the other and promptly fall asleep. Not that either minded.

Felix was tracing a particularly ugly looking scar on Sylvain’s back with his lips as he was hugging him when the other talked.

“Let’s go on a picnic for lunch. You and me.” The red head said, scooting back so that they were flush with each other. Sylvain’s hair ticked his nose, forcing him to tuck his chin against his shoulder blades. 

“I mean, we haven’t gone on a date in a while and I was thinking, maybe-” Sylvain started babbling, a tell tale sign that he was nervous. Felix squeezed his sides with his arms, causing him to relax. 

“‘Vain, I didn’t say no.” That perked him right up, leaving the cradle of Felix’s arm to pull on a shirt.

“Come on, then. I’m gonna take a shower.” Felix rolled his eyes at him, begrudgingly accepting a kiss as Sylvain shuffled to the bathroom.

If Felix said he didn’t enjoy their little outings, he was lying. They were nice and Sylvain had always something planned in advance, even when it was a last minute idea.

As he opened a drawer to grab a clean shirt after he pulled on a pair of jeans, he hesitated on the little velvet black box sitting casually on the bottom of the drawer. He took a deep breath, stealing a glance towards the bathroom door - closed, he could hear the water spray and Sylvain humming - and grabbed the box to stuff it in his pocket. Just in case. Maybe.

Sylvain forced him out of the kitchen, which was honestly a shame since he was running around shirtless and fresh out of the shower, his hair and chest still dripping wet. Between the two of them they’d just end up with food and date forgotten just for a tumble on the bed.

Neither would be opposed, but Sylvain seemed hellbent on getting them on a date after two weeks apart and...well, Felix had a ring and was in love.

Sylvain ushered them outside, giddy like a schoolgirl as he interlocked their fingers and pulled Felix along, who pretended to be annoyed with the whole ordeal. He couldn’t hide the slight upward shape his lips had taken, however.

The car drive didn’t last long, with Sylvain occasionally reaching out to grab his hand and kiss the back of it, eyes trained to the road.

Felix’s heart felt fit to burst, the ring in his pocket was suddenly a scary, _heavy weight_. His mind was made up, though, with no intention to back out. Not when Sylvain looked at him like he was the moon and all the stars.

The park was somewhat empty, allowing to find a spot in a small area where Felix wouldn’t feel watched. Sylvain didn’t mention it as he helped him lay down the blanket they had brought. 

They sat side to side, almost touching, since the blanket wasn’t exactly fit for two grown men but they made it work.

“I hope you didn’t bring anything with fucking tuna.” Felix threatened, narrowing his eyes at the red head.

“Baby, you’re so hard to please!” Sylvain chuckled, leaning in to kiss him on the lips. “Ham with spicy mayo.” He whispered against his lips, as if he was dirty talking.

Felix wanted to slap the smug smirk off of his lips, or kiss it. He settled for the latter. He gently shoved Sylvain away when the kiss got too much, overwhelming after weeks of only messages and calls.

Felix spoke better with actions, and he could tell Sylvain was doing his best to tell him _something_. Something he didn’t have the words for, yet. For once, Sylvain the smooth talker couldn’t talk and Felix “actions speak louder than words” had the words for it.

Sylvain groaned, lips spit slick and pouty, resting his head against Felix’s shoulder. Frustration rolling off of him in waves. Felix chose to ignore it for now, too busy thinking about his own.

“Come on, I thought this was supposed to be a _picnic._ ” Felix goaded, nudging his side.

Sylvain slid off, helping him unpack the basket he had prepared meticulously. There were sandwiches, fresh fruit, a little side salad that Felix was sure Sylvain would end up eating all by himself, since he knew Felix’s distaste for vegetables.

Sylvain was unusually quiet, setting Felix just a little bit on edge. Sometimes, they could spend entire days in silence, basking just in each other’s presence. This was different, the kind of silence that was awkward and uncomfortable and filled every crack in the air of Felix’s lungs.

He wondered, if maybe, Sylvain was planning on breaking up with him.

Sylvain, as if sensing his mood, reached out and squeezed his hand, intertwining their fingers. It reassured him, making his shoulders slump from the tension they had gathered.

“Why so grumpy?” He asked, nuzzling his nose against Felix’s cheek.

“Shut up and eat.” Felix huffed out a laugh, knocking his shoulder into Sylvain’s and pushing him away.

They ate most of what Sylvain had prepared, fighting good naturedly over the good stuff and doing a bit of people watching. They were living in their own little orbit, gravitating towards each other as it always happened since they had found each other.

“You know, these five years have been the happiest of my life.” Sylvain blurted out once they were finished and his head was resting comfortably on Felix's lap. His expression was earnest, locking Felix in a limbo between his serious eyes and honest words.

“I love you.” Sylvain whispered, once Felix stopped trying to avoid his eyes. 

Felix stilled, his fingers currently playing with soft, red hair rooted to the spot at the unexpected confession. Sylvain was always running his mouth, dripping with honeyed words and flattery, aimed to attract people and hide the pain hiding just underneath the surface.

He had never lied to Felix. He knew for a fact, because they were both bad at lying to each other.

He felt as if underwater, Sylvain’s words repeating in his head but muffled, far away. Sylvain was always the one who said “I love you” more often and first, always letting it slip because he couldn’t keep it inside, letting out surprised noises when Felix reciprocated.

It was hard for both of them to hear those few words, it was harder for Sylvain, who always heard them followed by a “but”.

_We love you but you have to hide your sexuality._

_We love you but only because you’re better than Miklan._

_We love you but you need to stop being such a disappointment._

There was no “but” with Felix, and he had no intention of ever including one. Because, well, the difference for Felix was the genuine affection he felt for Sylvain, inside and out with no conditional. This time he’d have to make an exception. 

“I love you, too, but,” Felix bit his lower lip, reaching into his pocket while Sylvain’s expression fell.

“I was hoping you’ll have me for more than five years.” Felix confessed, showing the ring to Sylvain.

It was a simple black band with a zapphire in the center. There was no need for elaborate rings to show off to the world they loved each other, a plain glance would make it rather obvious with how they gazed at each other, cherished even just existing next to the other, their hands always finding its companion while their hearts beat in sync.

Right now, Felix’s heart was attempting to escape his chest from how hard it was beating, looking on as Sylvain got up from his perch on Felix’s legs.

“Fe, are you-” Sylvain’s voice broke, his eyes shining with soon to be spilled tears, if the way Sylvain was closing them meant anything.

“If...you want.” Felix replied, his stomach in his throat and his heart in Sylvain’s hands.

He wasn’t expecting to fall back on his ass, Sylvain throwing his whole body weight on him while they both fell back on the blanket with soft noises of pain. Sylvain nuzzled his neck, his cheek, moving the familiar path he had walked thousand times before to kiss him.

Felix fumbled, wrapping hastily his own arms around Sylvain to return the eager kiss, who died down in small pecks, both their eyes wide open so they could look at each other as if it was the first time.

“I thought you’d get tired of me.” Sylvain’s voice was oddly quiet, his fingers fiddling with the collar of Felix’s shirt, his gaze averted to avoid seeing Felix’s reaction. 

“That you would leave me.” The confession was heartbreaking, Felix was intimate with Sylvain’s insecurities, just as he was with Felix’s own.

Felix gently pulled Sylvain’s left hand away, slipping the ring on and being silently proud of himself for not getting the size wrong. It looked stunning against Sylvain’s freckled kissed fingers, Felix’s claim on him.

Sylvain let out a wet chuckle, his eyes stuck on the ring on his finger with a disbelieving look. Felix wanted to tell him he was worthy of love, that he would keep him and love him no matter what.

Words failed him, as always. 

He tipped Sylvain’s chin up, cupping his cheek as he drew him into a kiss. It was enough, Sylvain knew what he meant without the need for pretty words and poetry. He always did, even as he braced his weight on his elbows and shifted between Felix’s legs to fix the angle of their mouths into sweet perfection.

That was why Felix was in love with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap!  
> Thank you to everyone who read, left kudos and comments, it means so much to me!  
> Huge thank you to my betas and their hard work because they had to beta 20k words in one sitting (I'm so sorry) and, of course, to Kim for her wonderful artwork!  
> Will you see more of The Gautier Method? Probably! I didn't fit everything that I wanted in this fic!
> 
> I'm [hanzohoemada](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada) on twitter. Artworks by [LostKimin](https://twitter.com/LostKimin)
> 
> [Fic's promo on twitter!](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada/status/1297564253302521857?s=20) [link to Kim's illustrations' promo!](https://twitter.com/LostKimin/status/1297565245955809280?s=20)

**Author's Note:**

> This was...a ride. I just want to thank all my friends for knocking sense into me whenever I felt this fic wasn't going to be good. Zack, Mory, Lian, Mimi, Grace...thanks y'all.
> 
> Thank you Eli and Zack for beta-ing!
> 
> The illustrations are the wonderful work of [@LostKimin](https://twitter.com/LostKimin)!
> 
> I'm on twitter [@hanzohoemada](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada)
> 
> [Fic's promo on twitter!](https://twitter.com/hanzohoemada/status/1297564253302521857?s=20)


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